We knew they were there. We also knew they knew we were here.
Still, the retarded governments wanted to settle their dick measure contest by seeing which military was superior.
They fired several missiles at us. We tracked their trajectory and shot them down with our plasma cannons.
We fired our missiles at them and they shot them down. No serious damage got done.
We reported this, government didn’t care as long as we shot them and we didn’t have casualties. The politicians presented a media show of how incredible close the world was to destruction and how the brave people of the military under their brilliant command prevented it.
Case in point, a couple of times we contacted them and they us for a salvo of missiles just so we could create a nice fireworks display for another delegation or committee visiting battle cruisers.
The public did get bored with the usual outcome of any “battle” though. The politicians started to complain about the lack of distraction for the media. It meant that they couldn’t play around while the world looked the other way.
So then commanders from both sides decided to meet up in secret on one of our stations orbiting a planet some distance away. I was part of the intelligence team supporting our commander and looked forward to meeting our formidable foes.
We had a pleasant exchange. They were descendent from a lizard species and also evolved into a bipedal species. Communication wasn’t easy at first but our interpreters managed to get better at it because they could finally talk face to face instead of delayed long distance conversations.
While the commanders complained about politics to each other we, and their intelligence team got busy on devising a plan to stir up the conflict. We brainstormed over good food and drinks, which meant we took our time to think of possible options. We laid out charts of explored space next to each other, compared notes on weapons and range of attack, interesting targets, shipping routes. The amount of information we revealed to our enemy was more than anyone had done, even to allies in history.
Both our sides had available targets for attacking. Bases with skeleton crews, old cruisers and transports that badly needed replacing, stripmined planetoids. Anything that wasn’t worth anything anymore but would generate a feeling of hostility when destroyed by the other side.
We laid out our plans to the commanders and after some time negotiating the timetable we said our goodbyes and returned to our headquarters. I suspected it wasn’t a happy return for everyone, one of the female captains seemed to become close with one of the men from their intelligence team. When I discreetly asked her she admitted they’d planned a video date later in the week. They both felt curious and decided to give it a shot.
We had agreed to let them have the first shot and damage a small base in this solar system. They modified the targeting sensors to our specifications so they would hit the fuel storage. Command had sent the skeleton crew on a training mission a ways off when unfortunately we couldn’t block two of the dozen missiles fired at the base. The storage, luckily low on fuel but enough to create a great blaze of fire, was gone.
Media picked up on it and felt shocked at the sudden jump in technology that made it possible to evade our defense systems. Politicians called for an increase in scientific research to further our smart weapons.
Not long after we blew up a couple of transports that “coïncidentally” got stuck in space while their crew were on their way to retrieve parts. Our media reported a great blow to their military effort and praised our ability to hurt them. They will surely grieve for the loss of empty containers and scrap metal.
They in turn got one of our discarded cruisers. Then we blew up an abandoned factory. Then they hit the next thing on the list and so we continued our spectacular battles in space.
I met the captain at the shuttle that would fly her to a space station around one of our barren planets. This was going to be her first live date with her alien boyfriend while they’d both record the effect of the newest missiles to blow up a storage facility down on the planet.
The media and politicians will be thrilled to have something to rile up the public again.