Without Love (draft preview)

Update: 22/06/2021

Trigger warning: The story is about a divorced woman from a mentally abusive marriage.
Although not directly depicted, it is talked about.

This is a preview of the draft, which I’ll update as I work on the complete story.

Simon, a 46 year old writer, moves into a new neighbourhood. When he untangles Tabitha, the 7 year old neighbour girl, he suspects all is not well with her and Vivianne, her 38 year old mother and highschool teacher.
When he becomes more aquinted with them over time, he learns from Vivianne about her abusive relationship and her loss of trust in men.
Despite this, they build a friendship over their mutual desire to no longer become romantically involved with someone.
When Vivianne’s ex-husband keeps showing up and is twice chased away by Simon, he proposes to live together to take care of each other without any romantic strings attached and Vivianne reluctantly accepts because she no longer wants to see her daughter live in fear.

—

Dedicated to Kitten

—

# 26/02 New home

Simon put the last of the moving boxes packed with his writing and drawing supplies on the wooden floor of what became his new study. He surveyed the smaller back room of his new one story home once more to estimate if it had emough space to house the wooden racks that lay disassembled to the side in the living room. He thought he was lucky when he had to move out of his old place and still found a decent place on short notice, although a little more expensive on the rent than he had aimed for. The neighbourhood was not fancy, but the real estate agent assured it was an otherwise average and safe one. As far as he could see while taking an earlier ride around it, he agreed. There was nothing much more than average one story houses spread out over several streets, not too far from several basic stores.
Although he did not have many possessions, he was glad he could move everything within one day and a single trip with a rental van, after spending the weekend packing it all up. The whole day turned out not too bad for an end of winter monday, but every task still took long enough to make dinner late. He went to the unfurnished kitchen, fetched something easy while still nutricious from the refrigerator to put in the microwave, and sat down later on his trusty old comfortable couch to eat and relax while watching the daylight fade slowly outside.
Bright lights shone through the window when a car pulled up on the neighbour’s driveway, and a moment later a short woman with shoulder-length blonde hair opened the back and took out her groceries. His habit of forming a character profile kicked in as he looked at her hoodie with some sport team logo printed on back and front, and jeans which seemed to hug her ample thighs well enough, but he had too little to go on to limit the choices of occupation she might have. A little girl with black shoulder-length hair went up to her, took one of the shopping bags, and carried it as she and her supposedly mother went up to their house.
Simon half planned to introduce himself to the neighbours later in the week after he had settled in, if he didn’t see them before.

# 28/02 Hedgegirl

The day later in the week was spent quietly assembling the racks and filling the shelves with his books and nicknacks, setting up his desk in his study, and arranging space for his laptop and drawing tools, and Simon did a final check on the setup of his small home network and his data, of which all the files of his writing was the most important part. He made a small living with writing fiction and dreaded to lose any of the original manuscripts, so he had set up his laptop with an open source operating system because it offered data integrity with the dual disks in it, and set up a home server with the same protection for backup, along with an external one in case the house burned down and he did not have his laptop with him.
Satisfied with the workings, he opened his latest draft and reread the last couple of pages to find his train of thought again. He was partially engrossed in the story when he noticed movement at the far end of the waist high hedge separating his plain grass garden from the neighbour’s one. A little arm stuck out, wiggled around, pulled back, then came out again, trying to push away the branches. He chuckled as he figured the little neighbour girl might be stuck in it for some reason, and went outside to see if she needed help.
He walked up to the unsuspecting girl as she struggled to free her entangled light green dress and her hair from the many crooked thin branches and little sturdy leaves. ‘Need some help?’ he asked as gently as possible to not frighten her.
She jerked her head up at him and gazed at him with wide and light brown eyes.
Her fear was clear in them to him, and he went down on one knee. ‘Don’t be afraid. It looked like you were in trouble, so I’m here to help.’
Tears welled up in her eyes. ‘I’m sorry.’ she said with a tremble in her soft voice. ‘I only wanted to fetch my ball. I didn’t mean to cause trouble. I’m sorry.’
Her fearful apology stabbed his heart. He quickly pulled out his handkerchief, sat down, and wiped the wet streaks and teardrops from her cheeks. ‘Don’t cry. It’s all right, it’s only an accident. I’ll help you out of here right now.’
He went to work on breaking the twigs he could, and pulling her hair from the ones that were too tough to break. ‘Sit still so you won’t be caught up any more in this.’
‘I will.’ she said softly again.
When he untangled the last of her hair he checked her dress. ‘Move a little forward, honey, so I can free your dress.’
‘Okay.’ she replied in her still soft manner, and crawled forward just enough to feel the hedge pull on her dress again.
Simon was glad there were few frills on her dress that the twigs could snag on when the plain fabric was already enough. Meticulously, he pulled the fabric from each twig, and little by little, the girl could move forward as the pull on her dress lessened.
After she crawled out of the hole through the hedge, she stood up and cried again as she gripped the front of her dress. ‘I’m sorry, I’m sorry.’ she said as she trembled all over.
The knife he felt in his heart earlier twisted around. He pulled her quickly into his arms and stroked her head gently. ‘It’s all right, honey. It’s all right. You’re free now and there’s no harm done. I’m not mad or anything.’
She gripped the sides of his shirt while she shook.
After a while her breath relaxed, and he looked at her wet face. ‘Feel better now?’
She gave him a slight nod, and he let her go slowly and used his handkerchief again to dry her face. ‘Let’s fetch your ball, and then you can continue playing.’
She gave him another slight nod. ‘Thank you.’
He returned a warm smile and was relieved to see she was all right. ‘No problem.’ he said, and looked around. ‘Now, where is your ball?’
She pointed at the light blue ball between the edge of the hedge running along the back of the garden and a tiny shed in the corner. She didn’t move though, and Simon gestured at it with his head. ‘Go ahead. Fetch it, then I’ll lift you over this mean hedge to keep it’s little girl catching branches away from you.’
A flicker of a smile ran across her lips. ‘Okay.’ she said with a little more confidence, and went to pick up the ball.
She stood before him again as he glanced at the hedge. ‘Ready to foil the hedge’s plan to catch you?’
This time the slight smile stayed on her face. ‘Yes.’
The slam of the backdoor of her home startled them, and the blonde woman hurried out towards them. ‘I’m so sorry!’ she said. ‘She didn’t mean to give you any trouble!’
Simon gave her a reassuring smile. ‘It was no trouble. She was only stuck in the hedge for a little while.’
The woman arrived at the hedge and glanced at the girl. ‘Even so, I’m really sorry for what she did. I meant to do something about that hole.’
Tabitha tugged on the front of her dress. ‘I’m really sorry, mommy.’
Simon held up his hands. ‘Don’t worry about it. It’s all right even to make it big enough for her to come over when something ends up here by accident again.’ She sighed with relief but he still noticed her tense shoulders under her wide shirt with a cartoon cat print. He held out his hand towards her. ‘I haven’t introduced myself yet. I’m Simon, the new neighbour, as you can see.’
She took his hand and he matched her careful grip as they shook. ‘I’m Vivianne, and this is my daughter Tabitha. Pleased to meet you.’
‘Likewise.’ he said, and shook Tabitha’s hand. ‘Tabitha is a beautiful name for a hedgegirl.’ he said with a wink.
The sudden giggle from her was refreshing and satisfying. He picked her up gently and lifted her across the hedge to set her down on the other side. ‘There. Safe and sound back on home ground.’
Vivianne’s nervousness faded and she was glad this first encounter with her new neighbour wasn’t a total disaster. The reaction of her daughter was encouraging, and she hoped there would be no more trouble from now on, but she couldn’t rely on looks even when he seemed friendly enough. ‘Come inside, there’s ice cream waiting.’
Tabitha looked up at Simon. ‘Do you like ice cream?’
He chuckled. ‘Yes.’
She looked up at her mother. ‘Can he have some too because he saved me?’
Panic gripped Vivianne’s heart at the sudden request that might trouble Simon, and she glanced at him.
The look she gave him, although she tried to hide it, set off an alert in his mind, just like the apology did from Tabitha earlier. ‘Don’t worry. I’m fine. You just enjoy yours.’
Tabitha looked at her mother again. ‘Please?’
Vivianne knew that look very well. It was to make sure the other party was not angry. ‘I..’
Tabitha looked at Simon, and the worry in her expression had him think quickly on what the best option might be. He looked at Vivianne. ‘Maybe just a little then. I don’t want to spoil my appetite for later.’
Vivianne gave him a nod and was grateful for his compromise. ‘Thank you.’
He went across the hedge with a low jump as he lifted one leg over it, and followed the two inside into a cosy and neat kitchen, decorated with a white table and four chairs, and a few small, modern paintings next to the white cupboards. ‘This looks lovely.’
Vivianne gestured for him to sit down at the table while Tabitha pulled out the ice cream container from the freezer section of the refrigerator. ‘Thank you.’ he said.
Vivianne divided part of the ice cream in equal portions into three bowls on a tray, and sat down with Tabitha at the other side of the table. She wasn’t really in the mood for it, but she didn’t want to spoil the moment.
Simon gave her a sincere smile as she handed over his bowl. ‘Thank you.’ he said, and took a spoonful. He looked at Tabitha. ‘Bon appetit, as they say somewhere far away.’
She giggled once, and began on her own portion.
He looked at Vivianne, whose gaze was locked at her bowl as she ate slowly. ‘I hope I’m not causing you trouble with your husband.’
She glanced once at him. ‘Karl and I have been divorced for a little while now.’
He swallowed his ice cream. ‘I’m sorry to hear that. Well, I mean in the general manner.’
She gave him a quick smile. ‘Thank you.’
He finished his ice cream quickly, and gave an exaggerated sigh as he pat on his stomach. ‘That was good, but I can’t have any more.’ he said, and winked at Tabitha. ‘Now I must go and work to grow an appetite for later.’ She smiled as he stood up and returned the chair to the table. He reached out to the bowl but Vivianne held out her hand. ‘Don’t worry, I’ll clean up the table when we’re done.’
He turned to Tabitha again. ‘Next time something ends up in my garden, come see me. I don’t want you to end up in the hedge’s claws again.’
She nodded. ‘Okay.’
He gazed for a moment at Vivianne. ‘If you ever need help with something or other, don’t hesitate to ask.’
She gave him a smile. ‘Thank you again.’
He gave her a nod and left through the backdoor. On the way to the hedge, he took a deep breath of air and let it out slowly to relieve his tension. Seeing Vivianne so tense around him left a bad aftertaste in his mouth, and he hoped he could build enough trust with her over time for her to relax around him.

# 03/03 Grocery run

Simon strolled around in the large supermarket the next day while he searched for his groceries, when he noticed a familiar mother and daughter. Vivianne stood on her toes as she reached for a box of crackers on a higher shelf, while Tabitha gazed up at her effort. He couldn’t help but feel some amusement at the sight, and rolled his cart over to them.
He moved up next to her. ‘Let me help.’ he said, and took the box from the shelf for her.
The slightly surprised Vivianne stepped back. ‘Thank you. Life’s not always easy when you’re short.’
He handed her the box and chuckled. ‘I can imagine, even with my averge height, I have trouble with some high shelves.’
Tabitha looked at his cart and the few items in it. ‘You’re buying groceries too?’
‘Yes, but since I’m new here I have to serch everywhere to find what I need.’
She looked up at him with some eagerness in her expression. ‘We can show you where everything is.’
He glanced at Vivianne. ‘I’m sure your mother does not have the time for this, and I can find it on my own while I explore this place.’
Tabitha pulled on the sleeve of her mother’s hoodie. ‘He could help with the other things that are way up there.’
Vivianne’s expression became rigid as she weighed the pros and cons of trroubling Simon and not needing help when she couldn’t climb on an empty part of a lower shelf.
He sniggered once. ‘She has a point in that. Although that would rob the other customers here of the adorable moments when you try to pick something from the top shelves.’
An unexpected laugh escaped Vivianne as she knew just how ridiculous she looked at those moments. She looked at Tabitha’s hopeful expression and gave in. ‘All right then.’ She looked at Simon. ‘What do you need?’
Tabitha held his grocery list and almost ran to lead them to the next item on it, while Vivianne and Simon followed with their carts. ‘She is very eager to please.’ he said.
Vivianne sighed inaudibly. ‘Yes. Although I remind her she does not have to do that all the time.’
They turned a corner into a new aisle. ‘I don’t mean to pry and don’t ask for an answer, but I have a feeling things didn’t go well with your ex.’
Vivianne kept her eyes on her daughter. It would come out sooner or later when Karl would show up at her door again in the wrong mood. ‘Yes.’ she noticed the hardened expression in Simon’s face. ‘It’s all right. It wasn’t really physical. Just his demands for attention even when I was working at home, and constant overbearing nature while ignoring when something was not well with Tabitha or me.’
Simon recognised some of that. ‘Mental wounds run deeper than physical ones. I’m very sorry you had to live through that.’
Tabitha pointed at cans of corned beef. ‘There they are.’
Simon took two of them. ‘Thank you, oh great supermarket guide. Where to next?’
She giggled. ‘Next aisle.’ she said, and walked briskly towards the end while the other two followed once more.
‘We did have our good moments though.’ said Vivianne. ‘It’s not as if it was bad all the time.’
Simon frowned a little. ‘Some good moments don’t make up for moments of such abuse though.’
‘Nothing to worry about now. We’re divorced and I’m busy with my new life with my precious daughter.’
Simon looked at her for a moment. ‘I’m glad to hear that, and as long as we’re neighbours, I’d like to repeat my offer of help if there’s something I can do for either of you.’
Vivianne gave him her practiced smile while her defences went up in front of such kindness. ‘Thank you.’
The remainder of the tour was filled with small talk about groceries and what they would make with them, and they stepped outside with their carts when they were done. Simon pointed in one direction. ‘I’m parked over there.’
Vivianne pointed in another. ‘We over there.’
Simon reached into his cart, pulled out a roll of chocolate chip cookies he had specifially added to the cart, and held them out to Tabitha. ‘I’d like to give you this as payment for your guide work, if that’s all right with your mother.’
She looked up unsure at her mother. Vivianne glanced at Simon’s sincere expression, and gave her a nod. ‘It is.’
Tabitha took the roll carefully from Simon. ‘Thank you very much.’
He stroked her head once. ‘But do share them with your mother for putting up with my boring company all this time.’
Vivianne sniggered softly once. ‘It was not that bad.’
He gave her a warm smile. ‘Then I will thank you for saying that this time.’ He pushed his cart aside. ‘Have a safe trip, and I’ll see you later.’
Vivianne watched his back for a moment before looking at Tabitha as she held the roll in her small hands while a little happy confused expression washed over her face. ‘No cookies before dinner though. You will have to wait for tonight.’
Tabitha gave her mother a wide smile, and they went over to their car.

# 15/03 Babysitting

The day was sunny and warm enough for the time of the year for Simon to sit in his garden and draw some sketches of places that were part of his latest fantasy story. Tabitha stepped outside of her house and walked over to the hedge close to him, watching him curiously. He noticed her from the corner of his eye, and after she stayed silent for a while, he turned to her. ‘Want to see what I drew?’ She bit her lower lip and her eyes darted down for a moment. ‘It’s all right. I’d like to show you and hear your opinion on them.’
Delight filled her eyes. ‘Yes, please.’
He stood up from his chair. ‘I’ll escort the hedgegirl across the horrible hedge then.’ he said, to which she giggled. He lifted her up and over the hedge and set her down. ‘I’m drawing a few sketches for a fantasy story that I’m writing.’
He picked up his sketch book and opened it at the first drawing he had made for it. Tabitha looked with wonder at the tall castle and the many towers with bridges linking them. ‘Beautiful.’
She enjoyed a couple of landscapes with hills and mountains, growled playfully at a big troll wearing shorts and a helmet with tiny horns that came down to his huge nose, and smiled at the sketch of a fluffy animal with big ears and a long and thick fluffy tail.

#

Vivianne picked up the phone when the highschool she worked as a teacher at called. ‘Vivianne.’
‘Elizabeth here.’ said the principal. ‘We have two sick teachers, so I need you to attend the emergency meeting we have in an hour.’
Vivianne sensed the headache coming up when it came to meetings like this, which would take a long time of fruitless discussion on something that should be decided by the administration because they are the ones responsible for scheduling attendance. But saying something about it proved to be futile after the first few attempts by her, so she knew she had no choice. ‘I’ll be there.’ she said and disconnected the call, and called out to Tabitha to take her along again because she didn’t have the time to take her to her parents.
She went outside as she thought of what to take with her to keep her daughter busy. The empty garden alarmed her for a moment, until she heard her daughter’s voice over at Simon’s place. The panic at her causing trouble arose again, but she suppressed it and walked briskly to the side. ‘Tabitha?’
The little girl spun around. ‘I was only watching Simon sketch, mommy.’
Simon looked over at Vivianne. ‘I wanted her opinion on my work for my latest story.’
Vivianne was glad for his explanation. ‘I need to go to school and I have no time to take you to grandma and grandpa, so I need you to pack a few things that will keep you busy at school.’
Tabitha’s shoulders sagged because the times she had to stay there were boring to her, but she knew she had to come along when she couldn’t go to her grandparents. ‘Okay.’
Simon noticed her clear lack of enthusiasm. ‘She can stay here, if that’s no problem. I’ll keep an eye on her.’
Once again Vivianne’s defences went up with the question of why he would do such a nice thing. ‘I don’t want to bother you.’
Simon stood up and went over to her. ‘It is seriously no bother. She is a sweet girl and I can tell she doesn’t like being there. I can’t blame her either if it was me. You can call me or text me at any moment, or ask your parents to come over in the meantime if you don’t feel sure about this.’
Vivianne knew Tabitha always put up a brave face when she was uncomfortable being alone in an empty class there, even if it was next to the meeting room, and he did offer his contact information and have someone she trusted come over.
Simon saw the doubt in her eyes. ‘I know we only met a short while ago, but I promise I’ll keep her safe as if she was my own daughter. I understand just how precious she is to you.’
Tabitha walked up next to him, and he lifted her up in his arm. ‘I solemny swear I will protect this fair young maiden from the horrible hedge and any other plant-like monsters.’
Tabitha giggled once and Vivianne’s resolve broke with the pressure of time to make it to the meeting. ‘Please take good care of her.’
Simon gave her a gentle smile. ‘I know there’s nothing more dangerous in nature than a mother protecting her young. I will attempt to rise to the occasion.’
Vivianne gave her daughter a kiss. ‘Be nice, and behave.’
Tabitha nodded. ‘I will, mommy.’
‘I will be back as soon as possible.’ Vivianne said, and went back into the house to pack her things with a heavy heart and a high hope everything would turn out all right later.
Simon looked at Tabitha. ‘So, do you want to draw something yourself?’
She nodded. ‘Yes, please.’

#

Vivianne was halfway to the school on the highway when she realised she didn’t have Simon’s phone number. She cursed at herself for being too distracted by the sudden meeting to forget to ask it before leaving, and looked for the next exit to turn around. ‘Screw it.’ she muttered. ‘They’ll just have to begin without me.’
She saw the exit sign when her phone rang on the passanger seat and the notification of a message from an unknown number appeared. Fearing the worst already, she picked it up and pressed on the notification.
Relief washed over her when she saw the photo from Tabitha holding up a drawing of a strange animal, and the message from Simon that he realised she didn’t have his number, and thus asked Tabitha for it so he could send his. It followed by another message from Tabitha hoping she’ll come home soon to see what she drew.
Vivianne passed the exit, and couldn’t wait to send a reply as soon as she arrived at the school.

#

Vivianne saw Tabitha and Simon sitting in his living room when she came home much later than she wished for, and hurried from her car to his frontdoor. It opened even before she came close, and Tabitha hurried outside and hugged her mother tight. ‘Mommy!’
Vivianne kissed her forehead. ‘I’m sorry it took so long, baby. Did you have fun?’
Tabitha smiled wide. ‘I made a few drawings and invented animals that Simon might use in the story he’s writing.’
Simon appeared at the door and she went over to him, grateful that nothing had happened in all that time. ‘Welcome to mi casa.’ he said, and gestured for her to step inside.
She looked around at the simple interior with a few racks for books and things, a couch, and a coffeetable, while he went into the kitchen with a couple of dirty plates. ‘I keep my surroundings simple.’ he said as he quickly rinsed them. ‘Less work on keeping it clean.’ He returned wiping his moist hands. ‘Can I offer you something to drink?’
She gave him her usual practiced smile, although she hadn’t really meant to. ‘I’m fine. We’ll be going home now.’
‘I understand.’ he said, took an empty folder from a stack on one of the shelves, and handed it to Tabitha. ‘You can put your drawings in here.’
While she gathered her things, Simon turned to Vivianne again. ‘Did the meeting go well?’
‘It was long and boring, as they always are. They just take too long to make descisions.’
He chuckled. ‘Yeah, I can imagine.’
Tabitha held on to her folder of drawings, and Vivianne stroked her head. ‘Thank you for keeping an eye on her.’
‘You can always ask me next time when the need arises. I spend most of the time working here at home anyway.’
Vivianne walked out the door with Tabitha, and they waved at Simon while he waited for them to enter their home. She put down her bag and sat down exhausted on her own couch, while looking forward to a hot bath after tucking in Tabitha. She realised the exaggeration, but she still could not trust anyone who was nice to her.

# 09/04 Celebration dinner

In the weeks after, Vivianne would let Tabitha spend the occasional time at Simon’s place as long as she asked beforehand. She was able to relax a little more around him but still not completely at ease, but she also didn’t want to keep the little girl locked up when she needed to learn normal social behavior. The years before under her father had already affected her too much, and she worried how she’d turn out when she was older. The lingering experience with false kindness from her ex-husband and her earlier relationships still tainted her own thoughts and behaviour, but she tried to control it better.
She took a break from her school work, and walked out into the back garden for a little sunshine and to check up on Tabitha and Simon. He sat outside with his laptop on his knees while Tabitha tried to copy one of his drawings. Her daughter looked up and waved at her. ‘Mommy!’
Vivianne loved the sight of her precious baby having fun, and was grateful that Simon gave her that chance. She waved back while Simon looked up with a broad smile. He held up his hand. ‘Great timing. Can you come over for a moment?’
A little curious, she went over to the hedge while he took his laptop with him. He showed a sales graph with a recent spike. ‘I had a lucky break and felt like celebrating. This may be sudden, but can I take you two out to dinner tonight?’
She couldn’t believe the question. ‘You want to take us out? Don’t you have someone better to ask out?’
He looked at his laptop. ‘To be honest, I only have two writer friends on the other side of the country. I’ve never been a social person.’ He looked at her again. ‘If you don’t like the idea, forget I asked.’
One voice inside her mind told her to break through her habit of walling herself in and to take the offer, even if it was just one time. She looked at Tabitha. ‘It would have to be a place friendly to kids.’
‘Of course. I don’t know what’s good, so can you suggest something?’
She chuckled. ‘The only places I have visited in the years since she was born are kid restaurants.’
He shrugged and grinned. ‘I don’t mind. Making a mess while eating is also a break from the usual.’
She went over the list in her mind. ‘There’s a jungle themed place that serves grilled food.’
‘Grilled is always good. Especially for a carnivore like me.’ he said, and growled.
She giggled. ‘I’ll look up the number.’

#

They arrived at the restaurant adorned with jungle plants and vines, and waiters dressed as various animals. Even the ones that didn’t live in the jungle like lions and giraffs. One young lady dressed in tiger striped ears, shirt and skirt, and tail walked up to them as they stepped inside, and squatted in front of Tabitha. ‘Hi there! Welcome to The Deep Jungle. Have you come to eat our jungle food?’
Tabitha nodded. ‘Yes, please.’
‘Then follow me, and I’ll show you and your mommy and daddy where you can sit.’
She walked away before Simon could say he wasn’t her father, and Vivianne giggled. ‘Just let them think that for tonight. It’s easier since only parents come here with their kids.’
‘Right.’ he said, and followed the tigress and his temporary daughter and wife through plastic plants and short trees to a table in the back, thinking a family of his own would not have been a bad thing, but he didn’t expect that to ever happen after all the women he had been involved with walked out on him.
They ordered a variety of fingerfood from the menu, and Tabitha looked around at the differently dressed staff. Vivianne smiled softly at her. ‘This is actually one of her favourite restaurants.’ she said while keeping it secret it was also one of hers.
Simon enjoyed the sight of the happy girl. ‘Then it’s even a better thing that I invited you two.’
Vivianne looked at him. ‘Speaking of being the daddy, you don’t have kids?’
Simon leaned back in his bamboo chair with a gentle creak. ‘No. My relationships never lasted long enough to even breach the subject.’
It made her curious. ‘You never had a long one?’
He leaned his hands on the table and fiddled with his napkin. ‘I was married for a few years when I was still young, since then only a couple of relationships that ended with them walking out on me after a while.’
‘I’m sorry to hear that.’
He let out a dry chuckle. ‘It’s all right. I learned that I have what women like. They just don’t want me. I’m not trying to find love any longer.’
She could not quite imagine why because he had been a gentleman so far, but she did not know him that intimately anyway. ‘That’s so sad though.’
‘How about you? Think you’ll be ready for a new relationship in the near future?’
She shook her head. ‘I’ve had too many bad experiences to ever trust someone again.’
The waitress arrived with their fruit cocktails in glasses with straws and little palm trees for decoration, and Simon lifted his. ‘Then we’ll just take full advantage of this evening as fake wife and husband to make a fun experience that we can end without heartbreak.’
Vivianne clinked his glass with hers. She liked the no strings attached idea. ‘Yes.’
After their fun experience, Simon walked Vivianne to the door while carrying a sleepy Tabitha in his arm. Vivianne opened the door, and he handed her daughter to her. ‘Well, I guess this is the final moment of divorce.’ he said with a chuckle.
Vivianne did feel amused by it and smiled. ‘I can sincerely say that it had been an enjoyable evening of marriage.’
‘Indeed. I’ll have to remember to bring some rings if we do this again.’
She giggled and stroked Tabitha’s hair. ‘Thank you for the dinner. Tabitha enjoyed it.’
‘Yes, that was clear from how she kept looking at the staff walking around. Sleep tight.’ he said, and went over to his own place, looking back halfway to give a final wave to Vivianne waiting at the door.

# 12/04 Bad neighbour

Vivianne parked her car on the driveway of her parents’ home, a two story Victorian style house painted in light grey with white windows, doors, and porch. She let Tabitha out of the car while Elizabeth, her mother, stepped outside on the porch. The little girl hurried over to her. ‘Gramma!’
Her grandmother gave her pecks on her cheeks, and straightened her white dress with blue striped hems. ‘You’ve grown again.’
Tabitha giggled. ‘I will become really tall.’
Elizabeth pat her on her back. ‘Give your grandpa a kiss.’ she said, and Tabitha went inside while Vivianne stepped onto the porch. ‘Hello, mamma.’ she said, and exchanged pecks.
Her mother went ahead of her inside. ‘Tabitha will need a new dress soon. She’s almost outgrowing this one.’
Vivianne rolled her eyes at the usual obvious things her mother pointed. ‘She has a new one, but she likes to wear this one until it won’t fit her any longer.’
They went into the back room where Marcus, her retired father, sat reading in a comfortable chair at the back window. He looked up from his book. ‘Hello Vivianne.’
She exchanged pecks with him. ‘Hello dad. Good book?’
He showed the cover of the historic novel. ‘Interesting. It plays out in seventeenth century upper England.’
‘That’s nice.’ she said, and sat down at the round table in the middle of the room.
Her mother brought a pot of fresh tea and cups. ‘How’s work?’
‘Keeping me very busy.’ Vivianne said. It was her usual answer since her parents didn’t understand her teaching job, and hadn’t approved of it in the first place. The had wanted her to learn accounting so she could grow into a secure management job. She didn’t hate working with numbers, but not day in and day out.
‘Your father repainted the shed last week. It looks so nice now, you must have a look later.’
Vivianne went with the flow as usual. ‘I will.’
Tabitha took her new folder with drawings from her bag and opened it on the table. ‘Look, gramma. I drew all new animals and Simon said he might use them in the story that he’s writing.’
She had her grandmother’s attention and looked at Vivianne.
Vivianne knew Tabitha would drop his name sooner or later, and already knew what they were going to say. ‘Simon is our new neighbour. He’s a published author.’
‘Hmpf.’ came from her father. ‘I hope he has a real job to pay for his living.’
Vivianne rolled her eyes in her mind and held back the remark that the books he read came from people who actually did write for a living. ‘He is doing well enough, dad. In fact, he took us out for dinner to celebrate a jump in sales.’
Marcus flipped a page. ‘He’d do better to save up his money. He’ll need it.’
Elizabeth leaned a little forward. ‘Are you seeing him now?’
Another not quite unexpected question to Vivianne. ‘No, mamma, it was just a neighbour thing because his friends are on the other side of the country.’
Her mother hummed softly as she nodded. ‘Your father is right, you don’t want to have to support him when he can’t sell his books.’
‘I have no plans to begin something with him. Or anyone for that matter. I already have my hands full with my job and taking care of Tabitha.’
Elizabeth kept quiet for a few moments. ‘If you just tried to make it work with Karl, you wouldn’t have to worry about finances.’
Vivanne groaned hard on the inside. Her parents just couldn’t understand why she divorced Karl. They kept seeing him as a good provider even when she told them about the reasons for the divorce. ‘It is too late to make it work, mamma.’
Elizabeth took a sip from her tea. ‘I’m just saying.’
“You’re always just saying.” thought Vivianne. “That’s the problem. You’re not listening.” She took her own teacup. ‘I know, mamma.’
She listened to the neighbour gossip and admired her father’s handywork like a good girl, then told Tabitha to gather her thing because it was time to go home.
Her mother walked them to the door and exchanged more pecks for goodbye. ‘Don’t become caught up with that Simon fellow now.’ she said.
Vivianne sighed inward. ‘I won’t, mamma. I have no interest in becoming involved with anyone so soon after the divorce.’
‘That’s good, dear. You should wait for someone with a steady job.’
Vivianne ushered Tabitha to the car, glad she had survived another visit without murdering her parents, and was equally glad to drive home again.

# 14/05 Water fun

The temperatures reached summer averages before the season even began, and Vivianne set up the inflatable pool for Tabitha in the back garden at the first hot day. It wasn’t until Simon stepped outside the back of his house in only shorts that she realised she had put on her red bikini out of habit because she didn’t want her clothes to become wet whil she filled the pool with water. He gave her a small wave as he walked to the back, and she thought he had a nice body. Muscles showed slightly and he had a bit of a spare tyre, but she had to admit he looked handsome.
He returned from dumping some vegetable remains on a small compost heap and looked at the pool. ‘Nice.’
She blushed a little. ‘I’m too fat to be called nice.’
He raised an eyebrow. ‘I was talking about the idea of lounging in a pool. I don’t know if you feel comfortable by me complimenting you so I didn’t say anything, but I think you look very good. You will turn men’s heads when you go to the beach like that.’
Vivianne blushed more despite not believing a word. ‘Turning away from me, for sure.’
He laughed once. ‘I do speak from experience as a man.’
Tabitha came outside in her frilly pink bikini, and pointed at the large leak just above the bottom of the pool. ‘Mommy, it’s leaking.’
Vivianne grumbled as she examined the hole between two of the circular tubes of the wall. ‘I can’t fix this. We’ll need to buy a new one, but I saw yesterday they were sold out at the store.’
The girl looked up sad at her. ‘Can’t we do something else?’
Vivianne sighed. ‘I’m sorry, baby, we’ll have to wait until they’re back in store.’
‘There is another option.’ said Simon and the two turned to him. ‘We drive to the lake. You stoked my appetite for a dive in cool water, so I’ll have you take responsibility by coming with me to the lake.’
Tabitha and Vivianne exchanged looks. ‘Can we, mommy?’
Vivianne had her mind set on a soak in water as well in the meantime. ‘We’ll need to take something to eat and plenty to drink with us.’
‘Yay!’ said Tabitha and hurried into the house. ‘I’ll fetch the towels.’
Simon chuckled. ‘Her joy is contageous.’
Vivianne smiled at the doorway. ‘Yes.’

#

Simon chose a spot with less people around, and parked at the side of the road surrounding most of the lake. ‘How about here?’
Tabitha gazed eagerly out at the water, and Vivianne liked the idea of not too busy with people, but not secluded either. ‘Looks good.’
They set up a large parasol and their towels close to the water, and ran at the same time into it while crying out at the sudden cool sensation on their skin. Vivianne breathed deep to control her shivvering. ‘Cold.’
Simon noticed the telltale signs poking her bikini top and sniggered. ‘Yes, I see. I’ll have to take you here more often.’
She looked down, then splashed him as she laughed. ‘Jerk.’ she said, but thought his silly underhanded compliment was nice.
After a short swim, Vivianne left the water and laid down on her back in the shadow of the parasol. Simon walked out later while he noticed two young men looking at her, then quickly looking ahead of them when they noticed him walking straight to her. He sniggered as he sat down, and she blinked against the bright light to see what was so amusing. ‘Something funny?’
He gestured at the two walking away from them. ‘If you had seen their reactions, it would have been more proof that you look good.’
She snorted. ‘They were probably just curious about about what kind of pale whale washed up on shore.’
Simon waved a finger at her. ‘Hey, I won’t have you say such things, young lady. You are a fine looking woman and I don’t want to hear otherwise from you.’
Even if he meant it as a joke, his words struck the little side of her. It was just the kind of thing Daddies said during the chats on the Daddy dom, litttle one forum she attended occasionally. She replied nearly without thinking. ‘Yes, dad. But I’m not a young lady. I’m thirty-eight.’
He laughed once. ‘Still young to me as I am forty-six.’
She giggled. ‘Old man.’
‘Brat.’ he said with a mischievous grin, and she thought if only he knew he was quite on the mark.
Tabitha coaxed the both of them to join her in building some sand sculptures during the day, and they spent the rest of the day reading, napping, and swimming, before they returned home when the sun was halfway on its way down. Simon carried Vivianne’s parasol and cooler inside while she carried the tired Tabitha, and let him out through the backdoor again. ‘Thank you for the funday.’
‘No problem. It was nice to go out swimming with two pretty young girls.’ he said and winked.
She giggled. ‘I’ll have to schedule an eye exam for you.’
He shrugged. ‘No thanks. I like this just fine.’ he said, and skipped as he went over to the hedge, and jumped across it. His little feat of agility impressed her, and she giggled once more as she stepped back inside.

# 21/05 Snake!

Vivianne put away her teaching work one evening after finishing it, and sighed at the clock. Tabitha had gone to sleep early and there was still time when her need to escape reality arose. She had not indulged in her alternate lifestyle for a while and decided to take the time for it now. She opened a drawer from a dresser in the living room, took out the box with coloured pens and pencils, the few colouring books, and went back to the kitchen. She put her hair up in two pigtails and let her mind revert to her little age as she chose which colouring page to fill in.
She had coloured a page with cute cats and one with adorable mermaids and fish, and began on the third with parrots and monkeys in trees, when she heard a sliding noise on the tile floor near the corner with the doorways to the living room and front hallway. She stood up to see a snake moving slowly around.
She cried out in shock, and kicked her chair aside as she backed out of the kitchen fast thorugh the backdoor.
Simon looked up startled from his laptop while he was writing in his garden and enjoying the cooler spring evening air. The moment he saw Vivianne burst out the backdoor, he laid his laptop down on the ground and ran. He crossed the hedge with a big jump and took her by her trembling shoulders as he looked into the kitchen. ‘What’s wrong?’
She swallowed. ‘There’s a snake.’
He didn’t like snakes at all, but he moved cautiously closer to the door because he would not leave a damsel in distress alone. He crouched near the door and saw the animal lying still at the far end of the kitchen floor. Only its tongue flicked in and out of its mouth. ‘I need something.’ he muttered, looked left and right. The broom standing next to the door was just what he was looking for.
He moved slowly inside, holding the broom in front of him as he pointed it at the snake, and rounded the table. ‘I’m not going to hurt you, but you belong outside.’ he said, and while the snake didn’t move, he pushed the broom down hard behind its head.
The snake hissed and wriggled, but Simon took all his courage and snatched it behind the brush. ‘I’m coming out now.’ he said as he held the snake away from him, and Vivianne moved aside as he headed for the back of the garden. A shallow ditch ran between the back gardens of their street and the next one, and he tossed the animal quickly over the wooden fence at the back. ‘And don’t come back.’
He returned to Vivianne while his heart still pounded. ‘I’ll see if there might be another one.’
‘Please be careful.’ she said.
He moved around cautiously with the broom in front of him, and tilted the couch and chairs back to reveal anything underneath. Relieved to find no other snake, he returned to the kitchen and sat down to take the weight off of his shaking legs. ‘I found nothing else.’
Vivianne walked in, straightened her chair, and sat down with a deep sigh. It had been a long time since she was so grateful to have a man around. ‘Thank you. Thank you so very much.’
He held up his hand. ‘Just doing my duty, ma’am.’
She laughed as the tension of her fear faded, and leaned on he relbows on the table, looking at the page she had worked on.
‘I like your pigtails.’ he said.
She turned red from embarrassment as she realised the situation, and groaned. ‘I was only playing around.’
He leaned forward to look at the open page. ‘You do neat work.’
She chuckled once. ‘Thanks.’
‘It’s a nice way to destress.’
She glanced up at him. ‘You don’t find it weird?’
He smiled at her. ‘I think it’s cute. If you feel like being yourself when you do this, all the better.’
‘I do.’ she said, collected the pens, and returned them to the box. ‘It’s my escape from the hard reality of adult life.’
‘I understand. Me writing fiction is also a form of escape from reality.’
‘But people won’t look weird at you for it.’
He let out a single laugh. ‘Some do, but yes, it’s more generally accepted.’ He watched her pigtails bob as she moved her head. ‘Listen, if you ever feel like being little while I’m around, don’t be afraid to do so. I don’t want you to bottle up your stress just because of that. Tell me to leave, even.’
She weighed his acceptance against the embarrassment of showing her little side, and the first won by a little margin. ‘Thank you.’
Simon noticed the time and sniggered. ‘Speaking of which, I think it’s bedtime for little girls.’
Vivianne let out a laugh. ‘Trying to act like a Daddy now just because you found out about this?’
He smirked. ‘I couldn’t let the opportunity slide.’ he said. and stood up. ‘But don’t worry, I won’t do anything that’s uncomfortable to you. Just this one side of you is a privilige to know about.’ He walked to the backdoor. ‘Sleep tight.’
‘You too.’ Vivianne said and smiled a little at her colouring page as she thought about how other little ones talked about how happy they were to have a Daddy. ‘It would be nice.’ she said softly, but she dismissed the thought and cleared the table.

# 27/05 Family fair

Simon checked his mail at his mailbox, and read through a pamphlet about a small hobby fair at the parking lot at the stores in a few days, when Vivianne came out to check on her mail. ‘Hey.’ he said.
‘Hey.’ she said, took the same pamphlet from her box, and read it. She definitely had to have a look around.
‘Thinking about going?’
She looked at Simon. ‘What?’
He held up the pamphlet. ‘The fair? I’m going to see if there’s anything interesting.”
‘Yes. Tabitha loves to snoop around those.’
Tabitha stepped outside, curious about who her mother was talking to. ‘Around what, mommy?’
Vivianne gave her the pamphlet, and her face brightened as she read it. ‘Can we go? Please?’
Vivianne chuckled. ‘Of course.’
Tabitha noticed Simon holding the same thing. ‘Will you come too?’
‘Yes, I want to look around there as well.’
Tabitha looked up at her mother. ‘We’re all going together, mommy.’
Vivianne didn’t think Simon had meant it as going with the two of them, nor had she planned on that either, and she looked from her daughter’s happy face to Simon. She didn’t want to disappoint her when she was finally comfortable around an adult man.
Simon didn’t want to intrude on Vivianne’s time, but he understood the dilemma when Tabitha was cheerful about going together. ‘We could just go there together, then go our own way around.’
Vivianne agreed. ‘Yes.’
He stepped towards the house. ‘I’ll come over when the fair begins.’ he said.
‘All right.’ said Vivianne, and stepped inside with her excited daughter.
Simon knocked on Vivianne’s frontdoor on the day of the fair. ‘You girls ready?’
Vivianne opened the door a few moments later, and an enthusiastic Tabitha looked up at him with glee in her eyes. ‘We’re ready.’
Simon chuckled and stroked her head. ‘All right. Let’s have some fun.’ he said and turned to Vivianne. ‘You have everything you need?’
Vvianne nodded, and locked the door behind her. Simon held open the passenger doors for the two as they stepped inside, and they enjoyed the drive with the windows down to let the wind rush through their hair.
Not man y people had arrived yet att the fair, but they were slowly gathering to the various stalls with hobby materials, books, handcrafted works of art, and handmade sweets and cakes. They stepped out of the car and Simon looked at Vivianne. ‘Text when we’re done?’
She was about to agree when Tabitha took their hands in hers and pulled on them. ‘Come on, we have to go.’
Vivianne chuckled while she gave Simon her helpless look when she could not deny her little baby. ‘Sorry.’
He laughed out once. ‘It’s all right. We’ll just stay together for a little while then.’
They walked around all the stalls first to see which ones they wanted to browse, and ended up at one with all kinds of baked goods. The scents from freshly baked waffles, donuts, small cakes, and cookies was intoxicating, and trying to resist was useless. Simon gestured with his head. ‘My treat.’
Vivianne giggled. ‘Thank you.’
Tabitha and Vivianne had a difficult time choosing. ‘I could eat it all.’ Vivianne said.
‘You can have only one thing now.’ said Simon. ‘You can’t eat cakes all day.’
Vivianne gave him a pout before she could stop herself. ‘Aww..’
He shook his head. ‘We’ll buy some of those thick sandwiches later, and then after that you can have one more treat.’
She liked his strict manner and gave into her little side because he already knew about it anyway, and other people would simply see it as a joke. She put out her lower lip. ‘Kay.’ she said with resignation.
‘Good girl.’ he said, and a little thrill shot through her chest.
She choose a small cake with thin chocolate and strawberry layers, and Tabitha opted for a waffle with cherries and whipped creeam on top. She held it carefully in both hands as she received it, and kept her eyes on it as she turned away from the stall, just as a man next to her stepped aside. She bumped her waffle against his leg.
‘Hey! Watch it!’ said the man as he looked down in anger at her and the patch of cream on his trousers.
Vivianne’s trauma kicked in and her heart stopped beating when her baby girl froze in fear.
Simon stepped between Tabitha and the man. ‘Don’t shout at her. It’s just a little accident.’ he said, as he picked her up.
The man grumbled. ‘Teach your kid to be more careful.’
‘You could have watched your step in the first place. There are plenty of small kids around here.’
The man noticed the looks of other parents, and muttered something unintelligible while he walked away. Simon examined Tabitha’s rigid face as she held back tears, and kissed her forehead. ‘It’s all right now, honey, the mean man is gone, and it wasn’t your fault.’
Vivianne stroked her cheeks. ‘No harm is done, baby. It’s all good now.’
Tabitha looked from her mother to Simon. ‘I’m sorry.’ she said softly.
Simon gave her a gentle squeeze. ‘You don’t have to be sorry. All you have to do is eat this delicious waffle before it turns cold. I would be very sorry if I let my poor waffle turn cold.’ He wiped some cream on his fingertip and put it on the tip of her nose.
She giggled at the cool and ticklish sensation.
‘Hey, mister.’ said the female attendand of the stall behind them. Simon turned around, and she held out a cookie with a smiley face drawn in chocolate on it to Tabitha. ‘A magic cookie to make you smile again.’ She winked. ‘Just don’t tell your parents I gave it to you.’
Tabitha looked at her mother, who gave her an amused smile and nod in encouragement. She took the cookie with a happy smile. ‘Thank you.’
They walked away from the stand and Simon sniggered. ‘Looks like we’ve been labeled a family again.’
‘I’m sorry.’ Vivianne said. ‘I think we’re stuck with each other again today.’
‘I don’t mind. I just hope I can handle having to keep an eye on two girls at the same time.’
Vivianne giggled. ‘I wasn’t planning on being little all the time here.’
He shrugged. ‘Use the opportunity when you can take it. It’ll give me some experiences I might be able to use in my writing.’
She giggled. She might just take him up on the offer. ‘Don’t regret it later.’
He looked up and sighed in exaggeration. ‘I probably will.’ he said, and they began their round of the stalls they were interested in.

# 29/05 Karl

Simon was deep into his writing when he looked up at noise coming from the backdoor. At first he thought it might have been a lost animal trying to enter, but rapid footsteps followed through the living room. Alarmed at a possible unwanted visitor, he rushed to the doorway and around the corner of the short hallway to find a distressed Tabitha standing there. ‘Honey? What’s wrong?’
She rushed at him and clamped her little arms around him. ‘Daddy! Fighting with mommy and shouting!’
Anger rose inside him at whatever caused her to tremble in fear. He pulled her free and sat quickly down on one knee. ‘Listen to me, honey. You stay right here and don’t leave the house. I will go and make sure nothing happens to mommy, understand?’
She nodded, and he hurried out the door, hoping there was no need for rash action.
Her father’s shouting was audible as he jumped the hedge, and walked detemined to the backdoor to control his anger. He pulled it open and stared straight at the man in the kitchen. ‘Hey! Calm the fuck down!’
Startled by the sudden outburst, Karl took a step back, but quickly regained his anger. ‘Who are you!? This is none of your business!’
Simon stepped away from Vivianne hunched in her chair to take her out of her ex-husband’s view and away from his attention. ‘I am the neighbour, and if someone is threatening a lady and scaring her daughter I make it my business.’
Karl glared at Vivianne. ‘Is this some new guy for you!? Are you working on him!?’
She was both grateful for Simon coming over, but also feared it could make the situation with Karl worse. She only wished whatever would happen would be over soon and kept quiet to prevent things turning worse.
Simon took a step forward. ‘Hey! You’re dealing with me now and you need to either calm down or leave.’
‘I don’t have to deal with you! What do you care? Think you can get a little pussy from her by being a hero?’
Simon barely kept a lid on his rising anger at the insult to Vivianne. ‘I don’t expect anything from anyone, except not seeing a frightened daughter run away from her own father. And it’s obvious I care more about these two as their neighbour than you did as a husband and father.’
Karl looked from Simon to the glare from Vivianne full of tears at the table, and lost the energy to argue. ‘Fuck it.’ he said, and slammed the doors open on his way out.
Simon closed the frontdoor and quickly returned to the kitchen, where Vivianne sat trembling. He went down on his knees and hugged her. ‘He’s gone now and Tabitha is safe at my place.’
She turned and wrapped her arms around him, and breathed hard until Tabitha hurried into the kitchen. ‘I saw Daddy leave.’ she said, and Vivianne let go of Simon to pick up and hold her daughter tight on her lap. ‘Yes. He left. It’s all right now, baby. It’s all right.’
‘I’ll fix you some relaxing tea.’ Simon said, took the kettle, filed it with water, set it on the stove, and took the tea from the cupboard.
Vivianne kissed her girl’s head. ‘Thank you.’ she said with a hoarse voice. ‘He just showed up out of nowhere again.’
‘Why not ask for a restraining order against him?’
‘I’m afraid it will only make him angrier, and it takes too long to get one.’
Simon grumbled. ‘Damned bureaucracy.’
Tabitha turned her head towards him. ‘Will you stay?’
He sat down on one knee in front of her. ‘I will, if your mommy is okay with it.’
Vivianne gave him a nod as she felt more comfortable to have him around, just in case Karl decided to drive around the block and return later.
He caressed Tabitha’s moist cheek. ‘I’ll make you dinner tonight as well, so you and mommy take it easy.’
‘You don’t have to.’ said Vivianne.
Simon looked up at her. ‘I know, but I’m still doing it. I’m not allowing you to do anything for the rest of the evening apart from being little if you want to.’
She giggled once from the tension. ‘Okay, Daddy.’
He stood up and kissed her forehead. ‘That’s a good girl.’ he said, and poured the hot water into the cups for them.

#

Vivianne and Tabitha didn’t eat much, but Simon was glad to see they still ate, and Tabitha yawned some time after. Vivianne picked her up. ‘Time to take you to bed, baby.’
Tabitha reached out to Simon. ‘Can Simon tuck me in too?’
Vivianne looked back at him. ‘Of course.’
Simon followed them and smiled at Tabitha while she looked over her mother’s shoulder at him. He looked discreetly away while Vivianne dressed her in her pajama shirt, and he tucked her in bed at one side while Vivianne did the other.
Vivianne kissed her. ‘Sleep tight now, baby.’
The girl looked bashful and expectantly at Simon, and he pointed at himself. ‘Me too?’
She gave a shy nod, and he gave her a warm smile. ‘Sweet dreams, hedgegirl.’ he whispered and kissed her forehead.
She giggled softly and closed her eyes.
Vivianne turned off the lights and waited for a while in the partially open doorway, then joined Simon in the living room. ‘Thank you, for everything.’
‘You’re very welcome.’ he said and pat on the seat next to him. ‘Come sit and relax more.’
She sat down and slumped against the backrest while clutching a cushion in front of her. ‘I feel so drained, but I’m afraid I won’t sleep much tonight.’
He stood up, turned off all the lights but a dim one in the far corner, went into the kitchen, and returned with a bottle of white wine and two glasses. ‘One glass should help, and I could use one myself, if you don’t mind.’
She wasn’t sure drinking at this time was a good thing, but she was more sure she could use a drink, and gladly accepted the full glass from Simon. He held up his glass. ‘Here’s to the cruel things love makes us go through.’
She chuckled at the absurdity and truth of that, and toasted along. ‘To always picking the wrong partner.’
They sipped in silence while Vivianne tried to banish the bad memories which repeated themselves over and over again, and Simon pondered how he could help in some way.
Vivianne needed something else to focus on than her own problems, and thought about what Simon had said before. ‘I don’t understand either.’
Simon woke up from his own train of thought. ‘What?’
‘Why your relationships failed when it seems you care a lot.’
He sighed. ‘I wish I knew.’
‘Can you tell me about them? If you don’t mind talking about it?’
He wasn’t sure as he never spoke much about them before, but it didn’t matter any longer to him. ‘I met my ex-wife at work. Surprised her with loads of flowers when I heard she reacted positively to someone telling her I had fallen in love with her. It didn’t take long before she practically lived with me because she was unhappy at home, and because I was sure I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her, I asked her to marry me soon. She accepted but we didn’t marry until much later when we had settled into living together. It all seemed fine until one evening she said she needed to feel independent for a while. It was a shock to me to hear that, but I didn’t want to restrain her if she was unhappy with the situation, and said it was all right. We still saw each other for a while and slept together when she had her own place, until one day she revealed she found a new boyfriend. They soon lived together after the divorce was settled.’
Vivianne sipped her wine, knowing how it felt when an ex-boyfriend told her he wasn’t happy with living with her. ‘That sucks.’
Simon emptied his glass, offered to fill Vivianne’s glass, and did so along with his. ‘There was another woman from a poor neighbourhood, with whom I spend a vacation with after courting for months, but then afterwards she said needed time, and not long after that I heard she migrated and married another man.’
Vivianne recognised that as well from a similar event with one of her earlier men. ‘Ouch.’
‘Then there was one who seemed to adore me, and I supported her in every way I could while she had trouble dealing with her family, but then one day she told me she had to break up when she went to work abroad and said she probably couldn’t remain faithful to me.’
Vivianne held her cushion a little tighter. ‘True love is not real.’
Simon let out a dry chuckle. ‘Tell me about it. But I seemed to do everything right with the last one until she told me she could not keep up a relationship while her life was busy with her work and family, and we went back to being flirty friends. It broke what was left of my heart when I found out she was seeing someone who treated her the same way as I did as far as I can tell. That’s what made me finally realise that I have what women want, but they don’t want it with me.’
‘I’m sorry they did that to you.’ Vivianne said softly. ‘The men I’ve been with ended up being narcissists, and did everything kind and mean to keep me around and down while cheating on me.’
Simon grumbled. ‘Those bastards didn’t deserve a good woman like you. You’re kind, caring, and beautiful.’
A soft smile appeared on her lips. ‘Thank you.’ she said. ‘But I have a hard time believing any kind words towards me from my experiences.’
He looked sidewys at her. ‘Because you haven’t heard them enough in honesty. I’ll repeat them often so you can believe them one day.’
She giggled. ‘That is a very tough challenge.’
‘I’ll take it. The cause is worthy.’
She was grateful at his words, and wanted to tell him at least one event that occured during her marriage. ‘Can I tell you about one time I almost left Karl?’
‘I’ll listen.’
‘We had a fight about nothing when he was in one of his moods, and that time I gathered the courage to pack some stuff quickly, take Tabitha, and left for my parents. He called there later and threatened to take Tabitha away while I barely made an income from my job back then, and he could support her. After saying that, he calmed down and said he was sorry, and said he would take me out to make things right again.’ She gripped her cushion. ‘I wanted to believe him so much, and my mother told me I should make up with him, I returned and things were normal for a period, but he soon went back to his complaining that nothing I did was good enough. Not the household he didn’t lift a finger for, cooking, my job, and raising our daughter.’
Simon growled. ‘Next time I see him, I might just punch him as hard as I can.’
‘It’s all right.’ she said softly. ‘He can only rage now and can’t touch her or me without ending up in jail. I would have left him earlier if it wasn’t so expensive to live alone with my baby and I had my current teaching job.’
Simon looked at his glass. ‘Indeed. I had to leave my relatively cheap place because the building needed so much work, they chose to tear it down instead of fixing it. I can barely pay for everything from what I publish now, but at least that income is still growing, although slowly.’
‘I need to make every hour I can to keep up with our expenses. I can’t even afford to be sick.’
‘It’s crazy how such an important part of a kid growing up is paid so low. Teachers are second to parents when it comes to raising a well balanced kid.’
‘We’re only good to take the blame for when things go wrong. We can only hope the new generations learn what’s important and things turn out better.’
‘I’m not holding out much hope for that.’ he said and lifted the empty wine bottle. ‘We drank it all.’
Vivianne finished the last in her glass and yawned. ‘I think I can sleep now anyway.’
He took her glass and returned everything to the kitchen. When he returned, he held out his hand to her. ‘Need help you to your room?’
She took his hand as she sensed her legs might not work all to well. ‘I do think I can use some help.’ She pulled herself up on his hand, but her legs gave way and he caught her in his arms. She giggled uncontrollably at her helplessness. ‘It’s worse than I anticipated.’
Simon chuckled, flexed, and picked her up in his arms. ‘I’ll just give you a ride this time.’ She giggled as he carried her to her bedroom and laid her down on the bed. ‘Will you be all right to undress and crawl under the covers yourself?’
‘Yes, thank you.’ she said and pulled off her socks with some effort.
He turned around in the doorway. ‘I can crash on the couch, if you feel more safe when I stay the night.’
She gave him a grateful smile. ‘Karl won’t show up now. We’ll be fine.’
‘All right, but call me at the slightest suspicious thing.’
‘I will. Sweet dreams, Simon.’ she said as she imagined it was like something from one of the romance novels she read.
‘Sweet dreams, little lady.’ he said, and made sure the doors and windows were locked before he left for his place.

#
# 16/06 Radical offer

Things stayed peaceful until one day a few weeks later, Simon heard pounding near the front of vivianne’s house. Anger welled up when he heard Karl shouting. He grabbed his mobile phone from his desk and went out the frontdoor. Karl pounded on Vivianne’s door. ‘I know you’re at home! Open up! I have a right to see my daughter!’
Simon walked closer to him. ‘Hey! I told you to calm down or leave!’
Karl spun around and glared at him. ‘I told you this has nothing to do with you!’
‘And I told you I won’t let you bully her any longer.’ He held up his phone. ‘Either you leave now, or I will call the police to make you leave.’
Karl seethed with anger and balled his fists. ‘You just try it.’
‘I know arresting you just once is enough to lose whatever you have left. Do you want that to happen?’
Karl breathed hard through his nose, but had sense enough to realise the consequences of attacking the man. He stomped off to his car, and drove away with screeching tyres.
Vivianne opened her door and Simon went over to her. ‘Are you and Tabitha all right?’
‘A little shocked, but we’re okay. Thank you again.’
‘Simon!’ said Tabitha and slipped past her mother to embrace him.
He picked her up in his arms and hugged her. ‘He’s gone again, honey.’
They went inside and sat down. Vivianne clutched a cushion again. ‘He just keeps coming back. It doesn’t stop until my baby is old enough to disavow him if she wants to and he can’t use that excuse to come over.’
‘He seems to think you still belong to him.’
She nodded solemly. ‘Yes. But i don’t want to begin another relationship just to keep him at bay. Besides, who would want a mess like me?’
Simon pondered about it when a sudden thought hit him. ‘I would.’
Vivianne glanced at him. ‘I thought you had it with women?’
‘Yes, which makes it work.’
She tilted her head in a puzzled expression.
He sat up. ‘Look, neither of us wants to go through the hassle of being in love with another person again for at least some time, and we both have to deal with high living expenses. We could live together under the pretense of being a couple for Karl, while cutting down costs and gaining breathing room and time to improve our situation for when either of us is ready to move on.’ He looked at Tabitha. ‘You can save up for Tabitha’s education for when she’s ready to go to college. I’ll even make a contribution because I want to see she has a good future as well.’
Vivianne’s defensive walls went up again at the thought of living with a man again. ‘I don’t know about that.’
‘I know it will be difficult at first but think about the advantages. I only need one room for myself and I work from home, so I can take care of the house and Tabitha while you work or have to attend another meeting and so on. I will cook so you won’t have to when you come home. You’ll gain more free time for yourself.’
Tabitha followed the conversation as best as she could, and knew there was more to it, but she liked the idea of always having Simon around. She looked at her mother. ‘I want Simon to stay, mommy. I don’t feel so afraid of daddy when he is here.’
Vivianne’s chest tightened at the thought of her precious girl living in fear, and she knew his proposal made sense. It was just her own reluctance to try something new that held back her agreement. ‘I still don’t know.’
‘How about we try it for a month? If it doesn’t work out for you in the meantime, we return to the current situation, no harm done. I don’t want to pressure you into anything, which is why I say we do all this without any emotional attachement, apart from taking care of each other. By the time you feel ready to move on, I’ll have some leeway to find myself a better place so you can take a new and happier path in your life together with Tabitha.’
Vivianne pushed against her walls because she knew the opportunity was good, and she could only admit Simon proved trustworthy enough to take on this venture. She groaned as her mind stormed. ‘I know it’s a good idea and I want to agree, but it’s so difficult.’
‘Take your time and think it over for a while. You don’t have to decide today.’ Simon said when Tabitha stiffened and trembled in his embrace. He looked at her scred expression. ‘What’s wrong, honey?’
She pointed at the car passing slowly outside. ‘Daddy.’
Vivianne looked from the car to the fear in her daughter’s eyes, and told herself she could not allow it to continue. ‘Okay, I agree. We will try living together. I’ll do anything for my baby.’ Tabitha looked at her and she felt like crying as the fear faded in her little girl’s eyes. ‘Please don’t let her become hurt again.’
Simon kissed Tabitha’s head. ‘I promise I will do everything I can to keep both of you safe.’

# 19/06 New beginning

It didn’t take much effort to clear out the spare room in Vivianne’s house and for Simon to bring over his necessities. They picked a weekend to do it in so she wouldn’t have to worry about what went on while she was at work. That sunday evening, Simon cooked dinner and made an extra large ice cream with chocolate,and fruit dessert to ease the nerves. Vivianne spooned out her bowl slowly.
Simon glanced at her and at Tabitha, who was busy chasing grapes in her bowl. ‘How are you feeling?’
She sighed. ‘Nervous. Maybe even afraid. My mind keeps telling me to run away from this.’
‘We could just leave the room as it is, and I spend the night still at my place?’
She shook her head. ‘It won’t make a difference. It has to be done, so I keep telling myself to go though with it.’
‘I understand.’ he said, and reached to the bag next to him on the free chair. He pulled out a tazer gun and laid it in front of her. ‘I want you to have this.’
She looked at it and him with wide eyes. ‘I couldn’t.’
‘Please take it. If not for your own peace of mind, do it for me so I know you have something to defend yourself with. I don’t mean specifically against me, but in case Karl flips when he finds out we’re living together now.’
She knew he was right, and reluctantly put it in her purse next to her on the ground. ‘Thank you.’
Later that evening, Tabitha wanted to have the both of them tuck her in again, and she looked at her girl from underneath her covers. ‘Will we live together from now on?’
Simon stroked her head. ‘We’re trying it out for a while to see if it works for us, honey. We don’t know what will happen.’
‘I hope it will work. I want to see mommy happy.’
Vivianne’s chest tightened, and she quickly kissed Tabitha. ‘Sleep tight now, baby.’
Tabitha closed her eyes after receiving another kiss from Simon, and Vivianne wiped a tear from her cheek when they left the room. Simon gave her shoulder a gentle squeeze. ‘Will you be all right to sleep tonight, or do you need anything?’
Vivianne shook her head and gave him a quick smile. ‘I’ll be all right. I’m going to turn in myself now.’
‘All right. I’ll finish the dishes, then go to bed as well. It has been a tiresome weekend after all. Have sweet dreams’
‘You too.’ she said, and left for her room. She began reading in bed to distract her thoughts, but the occasional sound from the kitchen kept her on alert, until she heard Simon enter his room and the faint click of his door closing. She kept on reading until she fell asleep without realising it.
Simon stared up at the strange ceiling of his new room from his bed. ‘Life just keeps on becoming stranger.’ he muttered while he couldn’t quite believe his current reality, and closed his eyes.

#

Vivianne stood in the doorway of the frontdoor in the morning, staring at the street. Simon went up to her. ‘Would you feel better if I text you every hour or so?’
She turned towards him. ‘I know I’m being silly when I should be rational about it.’
‘Adressing your worries, even if they might seem silly, is a rational thing to do. Text me whenever you feel the need.’ he said and planted a kiss on her forehead. ‘Just think of me as your daddy sending you off to school.’
That image made her chuckle. ‘You’ll need to give me a push.’
He rolled his eyes in an exagerrated manner. ‘Fine.’ he said, turned her around by her shoulders, and gave her a gentle push out the door. ‘Off you go, young lady. Don’t let me hear complaints from the teachers.’
She chuckled again, but the push did help her determination. She stepped into her car, and waved quickly before driving away.
Simon smiled as he shook his head, then rubbed his hands. ‘Time to take care of the house.’ he said, and went inside.

#

When Vivianne returned from work, her hand trembled as she opened the front door in anticipation despite exchanging texts with Simon several times during the day, and relief washed over her when Tabitha ran up to her to greet her. ‘Mommy is home!’ she called out.
Simon appeared from the kitchen when she walked into the living room. ‘Hi honey, how was your day?’ he said, and Vivianne laughed at the merriment in his eyes at his own little joke.
‘Busy, as usuual.’
He gestured at the kitchen behind him. ‘Dinner will be ready soon, so freshen up.’
She hadn’t realised just how good those words were until he spoke them. She didn’t need to think about what to cook, nor do it, and took her time to wash her face and change into her casual housewear, and inhaled the scents of food as she walked into the kitchen, where Tabitha set up tha table.
Even if what he made was not much different than their usual meals, it tasted even better to her, and she savoured every bite to the amusement of Simon. ‘I’m glad to see you like my cooking.’
She blushed. ‘I’m just happy that someone else has cooked for me after years of being the only one to do it.’
‘Yeah, I know the feeling.’ he said. ‘You can become used to it if you want.’
She chuckled. ‘I don’t know if that would be a smart thing. I might stop cooking altogether.’
‘In that case, the local fast food joints would see their revenue increase.’
She stuck out her tongue at him, and continued enjoying her meal.
That evening, she was more at ease than she had anticipated. Simon returned from the kitchen he had cleaned up while she did her school work after they tucked in Tabitha, and sat down next to her. ‘How was this first day for you? Feel any better about this situation?’
She nodded slowly. ‘Yes, more than I thought I would. But I won’t rule out a panic attack later.’
‘We have loads of tea in that case.’
She chuckled. ‘I bet we do.’
‘I’m glad you don’t feel worse in any case. I worried that this would turn out to be even more uncomfortable for you.’
‘I think it might turn out okay in the end. Seeing Tabitha safe and happy is worth everything to me.’ she said, and yawned. ‘Now I need some sleep.’
‘Sweet dreams then.’
‘Sweet dreams.’ she said, and went to bed and fell asleep quicker than the night before.

# 28/06 Last time

Days passed and Vivianne noticed she suffered less from stress, and needed to text Simon less to ask how things were at home, and she even allowed herself to be her little self more aften during the evening, which he played along with just enough to keep it fun, and not play the full Daddy role.
Simon noticed Karl’s car parked at a distance in the street in the early evening, and stepped outside when Vivianne arrived from work. She looked a little puzzled when he stood waiting for her with a serious look. ‘Something wrong, Simon?’
He gestured with his eyes towards Karl’s car. ‘Karl’s here, so play along and hug me.’
She went up to him and hugged him, and kissed her forehead and ran his fingers through her hair. ‘I hope this will suffice to convince him you have a new man in your life.’
Vivianne really hoped that would be it, but it needed something more, and kissed Simon on the lips. ‘I think this will make it certain.’
Simon blushed a little and chuckled. ‘Yeah, I agree.’
She giggled. ‘It’s just this once though.’
He laughed and let go of her. ‘I want more.’ he said, and raised his hands like claws at her. She laughed and hurried inside while he chased her. When Karl drove by quickly, Vivianne let out a sigh. ‘I believe he’s certain we’re a couple now and won’t come back.’
‘I do hope so.’ said Simon. ‘Otherwise I need to improve my acting skills.’
She sniggered. ‘I’d say you did pretty well.’
‘Yeah, but I doubt I’ll win an award for this performance.’ he said, and went to the kitchen. ‘Dinner will be ready soon.’
‘Thank you.’ she said, and thought things like this is what she had lacked in her previous relationships. She could live with this arrangement.
The doubt about Karl’s acceptance of their cover was confirmed a few weeks later when she received a notification that he had taken up a job on the other side of the country and moved there.

# 02/07 Parental shock

Elizabeth gazed in shock with her hand on her chest at Vivianne after Tabitha let slip that Simon was living with her and her mother since a few days. ‘You did what now!?’
‘We’re trying living under one roof for a month to see if it works. He can take care of the house and of Tabitha when I’m not there, which frees up a lot of time for me, and we both save on expenses. We’re not in a relationship and he uses the spare room.’ She didn’t bother explaining how it was also a deterrent against Karl.
‘Simon’s a really good guy.’ said Tabitha. ‘And he cooks just as good as mommy.’
Elizabeth stroked Tabitha’s head and gave her a quick smile. ‘That’s nice.’ she said and turned to Vivianne again. ‘We warned you about his kind. Nothing good will come of this.’ She looked up is exasperation. ‘Just wait until your father hears about this.’
Vivianne was glad her father spent the day with retired friends at a get-together. Dealing with her mother was exhausting enough already. ‘He still has his place. If it doesn’t work out he goes back.’ she said, and began to hope it became permanent, just to spite them.
‘You’d better tell him to go back right now. Who knows what he’ll do when you let him stay any longer. Just think of Tabitha.’
Vivianne didn’t like how her mother had the habit to use Tabitha against her when she did something her mother didn’t approve of. ‘She really likes him and they get along very well.’
Elizabeth looked at Tabitha for a moment, who gave her a resolute nod. ‘She’s too young to have an opinion on such matters.’
‘And I am not. If he really wanted to do something to us, he would have had the opportunity already.’
‘He might just be waiting for the right time.’
Vvivianne felt her energy supply depleting rapidly. ‘Mamma, he already helped me to bed when we shared a bottle of wine one evening. He was a perfect gentleman. We’re going to try this.’
Elizabeth didn’t say anything more about it, but her look told Vivianne that she would receive a call from her father soon enough.
She also didn’t say anything more when Vivianne and Tabitha left, but the unspoken words were clear enough.
When she returned home, Simon looked up from his laptop while he worked on the couch. ‘I see a little thundercloud approaching.’
Vivianne chuckled once and sat down next to him. ‘More like a thunderstorm when my dad will call me tonight.’
Simon closed his laptop. ‘Okay, so tell me.’
‘My parents are very conservative and stubborn. It was already bad enough they think you don’t have a real job, even though they both read plenty, but they totally don’t agree with our arrangement. They don’t trust you’ll be good.’
Simon chuckled. ‘Well, I can imagine how they feel after what you went through with Karl.’
She shook her head. ‘They think he’s a good husband and provider and keep telling me I should make amends with him and roll back the divorce.’
‘Whoo boy. That’s some wall to hit your head against.’
She sighed. ‘You have no idea. My dad wasn’t at home, but mamma will tell him when he returns and you can bet he will call.’
‘What will you tell him?’
‘Same thing as I did mamma, it’s my decision.’
‘Want me to talk to him?’
She shook her head. ‘He wouldn’t want to talk to you. At least not until you’ve been here for a while.’
‘I think I understand, yeah.’
When her father called, it went as she had predicted, and neither changed their view on the matter. She put down her phone and let out an exhausted sigh after he disconnected. ‘That’s over with until next month, when he wants to know if you’re still here or not.’
Simon pat on the couch seat. ‘Sit down.’
Slightly curious on what he wanted, she sat down and he went into the kitchen, and came back later with a bowl of ice cream. ‘Here. I think you deserved a reward for all the trouble you went through.’
She giggled as she took it. Thank you.’
‘No problem. Eat and then go to bed and have sweet dreams.’
‘Yes, Daddy.’
He chuckled. ‘Good girl.’
She took a bite and enjoyed the moment.

# 17/07 Judgement

When almost a month had passed since they began living together, Simon sat down in front of Vivianne at the kitchen table in the late evening. ‘We’re almost at the deadline. How do you feel about our arrangement? Tell me honestly.’
Vivianne moved aside the colouring book she was working on. ‘You are a good man, but the trauma of previous men is still strong.’ He nodded but waited patiently for her to continue. ‘Having said that, I see Tabitha has become more lively and I feel less stressed every day. I like to have you as a friend here for support without the pain that comes with intimacy.’ He nodded agin. ‘How do you feel about it?’
He hummed for a moment to sort his thoughts. ‘I like what we have as well. I do like taking care of Tabitha and you and not worry about doing something leading to heartbreak and seperation. Not that that means I don’t worry about doing anything stupid to make you angry, but this is different. It’s a little difficult to explain.’
‘I understand. It’s easier to not have to worry about losing someone loving you.’
‘Yes, that’s it.’ he said, and leaned back in his chair. ‘So, do you approve to keep this cover up until either of us is ready to take a new direction in life?’
She nodded. ‘Yes.’
He held out his hand to her. ‘Then we have a deal, partner.’
She chuckled and shook his hand. ‘We do, partner.’

# 21/07 Interrogation

Simon walked out from checking the laundry during household chores when he heard Vivianne groan out loud. ‘What’s wrong?’
She tossed her phone on the coffee table. ‘Mamma just called to say she and dad are coming over when I said you were still here.’ She groaned again. ‘They always do that, calling at the last minute.’
‘And you can’t tell them not to come because you have no time because they just ignore it.’
‘Yes! Exactly! So now I have to panic and make sure everything is really neat and tidy even though mamma will find something to say about it.’
‘Ah, but this time you have me as the excuse.’
She chuckled. ‘That’s even worse. I can’t even take care of my own house and need someone else to do that, who can’t even do a good job.’
‘Damn, tough crowd. Maybe I should hide for the duration.’
‘Oh no you don’t. They are coming here because of you, so you have to be here to face them with me.’
He lifted a long brush in his hand. ‘This bathroom knight will stand by you, milady.’
She laughed. ‘I am tempted to have you show up just like that, but it’ll be tiresome enough under normal circumstances.’
‘Right. So I guess a smoking is no good either. I’ll scrounge up some casual business wear later.’ he said, and went back to his laundry duty, thinking he might feel more nervous than when meeting the parents of his first girlfriend.
He found her later rearranging the few magazines on the coffee table, fluffing up the cushions on the couch and checking for balls of dust between them, and checking the windows sill and blinds for dust. He went up to her and wrapped his arms around her from behind. ‘You really are agitated about them coming over, aren’t you?’
His unexpected embrace gave her a minor jolt, but it also gave her a chance to regain more control over herself, and was glad he made the bold move. ‘More nervous because I don’t want to saddle anyone else with their rigid views.’
He squeezed her gently, then let her go. ‘Don’t worry, it’s just the me taking care of you part of our agreement.’ He turned her around by her shoulders to face him. ‘My job is to support you now, so have a little faith in me.’
His sincere strong gaze pushed against her inner walls that told her the only one who could take care of her is herself while she can’t have faith in anyone else again. She would have liked to be that naieve young woman who believed in such words, but that was her past self. She knew much netter now. ‘Okay.’ she said, hoping that would satify him for now.
He hummed as he looked closely at her. ‘I can tell your heart isn’t into it, but I’ll accept your answer now.’ He gestured at his shirt. ‘Will this do for them?’
She looked over his plain light blue dress shirt and his jeans. It looked good on him. ‘Yes, this is good.’
Her parent’s car pulled up in front of the house and Vivianne spun around. ‘The shitshow’s about to begin.’
Simon gave her shoulder a light squeeze. ‘We’ll ride this storm and come out fine at the other end, Viv.’
She looked from her parents walking up to the house to back at him and gave him a quick grateful smile for his show of support. ‘Thank you.’
The women exchanged the usual polite pecks on cheeks, while Marcus measured up Simon in his head. Simon matched his firm handshake and neutral gaze, and her parents sat down in the chairs while Vivianne and Simon made tea in the kitchen. She leaned closer to him. ‘Now you see how rigid they are.’ she whispered.
‘We’ll just sail around them through the choppy waters on our own winds.’
She giggled softly and felt for a moment they would do fine.
They sat down on the couch after serving the tea and some plain biscuits, while Tabitha went back to reading and drawing in the kitchen. Marceus cleared his throat after a sip of tea. ‘So, I hear you are a writer. Do you hold any other job?’
Simon leaned back a little and gave him an innocent look. ‘No, I pretty much make a living with writing.’
‘But you can only sell so many books.’
‘Indeed, but they’re still selling and I keep writing new ones.’
‘You must not have much left over to build a retirement fund.’
‘Actually, us writers don’t retire because we can keep on writing just fine, so we keep making more money as we grow older.’
Vivianne kept het amusement hidden while her father couldn’t say anything more. But it meant it was her mother’s turn.
Elizabeth sipped from her tea. ‘I understand you’re taking care of the house in exchange for living here?’
‘Yes, that’s basically my side of our deal. It’s easy to combine it with my writing since I do that from home anyway.’
She looked around casually. ‘I never imagined a man could be as good at household chores as a woman since they lack a feminine side.’
‘Well, I don’t wear a dress while I do the dishes and laundry, but I’ve been taught how to take care of things by my mother.’
It took all of Vivianne’s strength not to burst into laughing, and she pressed her lips tight on the rim of her teacup while she avoided looking at the restrained shocked look from her mother. She could feel the icy glance thrown her way.
Elizabeth took one of the freshly baked cookies and bit off a small piece. It had a different taste than usual with a hint of gingerbread. ‘You tried something new with these cookies, Vivianne?’
Vivianne took one of them as well. ‘You like it?’
Her mother thought it was just the right amount of spice. ‘They’re very nice.’
Simon gave her a smile. ‘Thank you. I don’t like a too strong taste of ginger in cookies, so I used less than what’s usually in the recipe.’
Vivianne smirked slightly at the second shock in her mother’s expression, and concemtrated on eating her cookie and imagining running a victory lap around her mother.
Elizabeth let out a soft cough. ‘Well, we do prefer the stronger taste ourselves.’ she said, and sipped more of her tea.
Disarmed, her mother spoke about trivial things again while her father sat silent drinking his tea and eating a couple more cookies than he usually did, and after the regular topics were exchanged, her mother said they should be going again.
Vivianne and Tabitha exchanged the goodbye pecks with Elizabeth, and Marcus had a less firm handshake as he shook hands with Simon. ‘Come around soon again.’ Elizabeth said to Vivianne, and looked at Simon. ‘Thank you for the cookies.’
He gave her a cheerful smile. ‘I will bake some more when Vivianne visits, since it seems your husband liked them so much.’
Elizabeth glanced sideways at Marcus, and he cleared his throat quickly, but said nothing. Vivianne, Tabitha, and Simon walked them to the car, and waved as they watched them drive down the street. Vivianne giggled. ‘That was epic.’
Simon grinned. ‘A black page in the family’s history.’
She laughed out loud. ‘I don’t mind more black pages like this.’

# 05/09 One night

Vivianne drove onto the driveway at home one evening, shut down the engine, slid her hands up and down the steeringwheel, and took several deep breaths to subdue her inner rage to spare Tabitha and Simon from her mood. Satisfied with stuffing her emotions deep down into the basement, she stepped out of the car and entered the frontdoor.
Tabitha was busy drawing at the kitchen table on one side, with Simon typing on his laptop on the other side. Her little girl looked up and smiled. ‘Mommy!’
Vivianne gave her a kiss. ‘Hello, baby.’
Simon looked up from his screen. ‘How was your day?’
She sighed. ‘Another meeting foistering more work on us.’
‘You’re doing a great job keeping up with what you already have to do, Viv. I can’t believe they keep demanding more.’ he said, closed his laptop, and moved it aside. ‘Freshen up and I’ll have your well deserved dinner ready soon.’ He stroked Tabitha’s head. ‘Set the table, honey?’
‘Yes.’ she said, and collected her pens and papers to clear the table.
After Vivianne and Simon put Tabitha to bed, he pulled out a bottle of wine again, dimmed the lights, and sat down next to her. ‘So, now tell me how your day really went.’
She chuckled as she accepted a full glass from him. ‘You noticed, eh?’
‘I told you we’re in this to take care of each other, so of course I notice it when you’re more quiet during dinner and eat more mechanically, and don’t really pay attention to the movie we’re watching.’
Her heart fluttered for a moment in happiness at him paying that much attention to her, and she smiled for a moment at her glass. ‘Today’s meeting made me feel that I can never give enough of myself at work when they don’t appreciate all I do.’ She sighed and took a drink. ‘But that’s not all. I overheard two male colleagues talking about us women, and they agreed I have a nice face but I’m too fat.’
‘What?’ grumbled Simon. ‘Bullshit! You are a beautiful woman, inside and outside. I’ve seen how others turn their head to look at you in public. Those guys could only hope to be next to you.’
Even though she couldn’t believe his words, they did warm her heart and she smiled a little more. ‘Thank you.’
Simon topped off her glass. ‘Let’s complain about idiot people who don’t realise just how awesome you are until it’s out of your system. Make this a real bitch evening.’
She giggled. ‘I like that idea.’
Simon took a gulp of his wine. ‘To the principal who rather pushes work onto others than do some real work themselves. I hope you slip from your chair and hit the desk with your head.’
Vivianne laughed out loud at that image popping up in her mind. ‘Then, to fellow teachers who ignore problem kids and hope someone else will take care of them. I hope you stub your little toe for each time you do.’ she said, and took a drink.
Simon sniggered. ‘Good one. Very mean.’ he said, and pondered. ‘To guys who treat their women as if they’re mothers tasked with only taking care of them without doing anything in return.’ He took a drink.
‘And still complain about everything.’ said Vivianne as she knew that all too well, and drank. She looked sideways at Simon. ‘To women who don’t apreciate the care from a great guy, may they always be burdened by a dirty kitchen and dust under the couch.’
Simon nearly snorted out wine through his nose. ‘We were talking about you.’
‘It’s not a complete bitch evening when we don’t bitch about the ones who wronged you.’ she said and stuck her tongue out playfully.
He sniggered. ‘All right then, if you want things to turn out really ugly.’ He raised his glass. ‘To the women who keep seeking attention but never give any back. May they be shadow banned on every social media network.’
Vivianne grinned at that thought. ‘I’d almost feel sorry for them.’ she said, and drank along with him.
By the time they finished the bottle, they had placed curses on just about everyone they knew and were sniggering constantly in their tipsy state. Simon placed his glass on the table and slumped back with his head resting on the backseat. ‘People really have no taste or know a good thing even if it hit them in the face. You should punch those two guys at work tomorrow.’
Vivianne imagined herself doing that, and felt the satisfaction already. She looked at Simon and thought his ex-girlfriends deserved the same, and remebered his earlier words about her. She knew very well she couldn’t believe them, but she knew equally well just how honest he was. She thought about how long ago it was that Karl said something like that, and how that only happened during sex or when he needed her to stay. He never said it just like that. Her heart sank as she missed the gentle moments in bed, even if they were fake. She just missed being touched, skin tight contact in need of physical relief. She glanced at Simon again and thought about how good he looked, and how gentle he was. A voice in her head told her it was a bad idea, but she needed to ask. She needed that glimmer of selfesteem so she could hold her head up high for a while again and ward off the daily depression thrown at her. And it would be just this one time because they had no deep emotional attachement. She finished her glass and swallowed the lump in her throat. ‘Simon?’
He turned his head towards her. ‘Viv?’
She blushed but hoped it was masked by her red cheeks from drinking. ‘Will you sleep with me tonight?’
Simon gazed at her while the words seeped into his brain and every single one needed to be double-checked and triple-checked and the meaning of the sentence analysed in every way.
The outcome still remained the same. ‘What?’
She quickly glanced sideways at him. ‘I need to be touched. And I need it to feel sincere.’
He sat up straight slowly while the alcohol fog in his mind faded rapidly. ‘What about our arrangement?’
She looked at the last drop of wine at the bottom of her glass. ‘I don’t mean with romantic interest. You meant it when you said I was beautiful?’
‘Well, yes. But I didn’t say it to get you into bed with me.’
She turned her head to him. ‘That is why. I need to know the one touching me thinks that way about me. I’ve been unloved for so long during sex, I need to at least feel attractive for once. I really want to be touched again and satisfy the craving I have, and you’re the only one I can ask.’ She looked at her glass again. ‘But I understand if you don’t want to.’
Simon’s heart beat hard against the twist in his chest, and he couldn’t deny her the thing she needed when he could willingly give it to her. He never had sex before without loving his partner and never did a one night stand, but Vivianne was a good woman he liked well enough to share a night of physical intimacy with. It also had been a long time since he shared a bed. He caressed her cheek. ‘You are a very attractive woman, and I’ll be happy to fulfil your need as long as there’s no strings attached.’
She looked at him again with a grateful smile while her heart beat faster, placed her glass on the table, then took his hand and walked with him to her bedroom.
She only turned on the dim bedside light, and stood in front of him. He ran his fingers gently through her hair. ‘If at any time you want to stop, please say so.’ he whispered.
She nodded, and raised her hands when he took the hem of her t-shirt and lifted it. He took his care in pulling it over her head and draping it over the chair to the side, and pulled down her jeans. She leaned on his shoulder as she stepped out of them, and thought she might have to feel embarrassed to stand naked in front of him with all the flaws of her body, but she couldn’t. She wanted him to see everything.
The warmth of his body radiated against her as he put his arms around her and unclasped her bra. He draped it over the chair and looked deep into her eyes for a sign of hesitation, but he sensed only an urge for him to continue. He went down onto one knee, took her panties at the sides, and slowly pulled them down her firm thighs. She stepped out of them, and he stood up and looked into her eyes again.
She looked up into his, and let her desire to be seen by him wash over her. She leaned forward, wrapped her arms around his waist, and leaned her head against his shoulder, listening to the reassuring pounding of his heart. He held her and kissed the top of her head. ‘You are an amazing woman, Viv.’
They stood for a short while before Vivianne pulled back and unbuttoned Simon’s shirt. She slid her hands down his shoulders and arms as she pulled it back, and casually threw it on the chair. She went down on one knee, undid his belt, unzipped his fly, and pulled his boxershorts down with his trousers. Her eyes lingered on the sight in front of her and the clear sign that his arousal had begun.
He stepped out of his trousers, pulled her up by her shoulders, and caressed her cheek again. Her shy smile was beautiful and radiant to him. He kissed her forehead softly, then pulled her against him and softly kissed her in her neck.
Warmth filled her entire body from the places where he kissed her, and she hummed softly while her hands slid up and down his back. Her heart pounded when he pushed her gently against the bed, and guided her onto it on her back. She laid her arms above her in complete surrender to him, and he sat down on his knees next to her. His eyes heated up her skin as he looked her up and down, and his fingertips left scorchmarks as they traced her curves.
She closed her eyes when his lips brushed the skin of her chest and drew ever closer around her breats and nipples. She bit her lower lip when his attention turned to her nipples, using his lips, the tip of his tongue, and his teeth.
While her breathing became heavier, he moved farther down her body, and with a soft touch to the inside of her thighs, she spread them. Uncontrollable twitches ran through her thighs and abdomen as he kissed her there, and a moan escaped her when the desire for him to kiss her where she itched the most heightened. He didn’t let her wait long.
She gripped the sheets as he granted her her long awaited pleasure, and her mind drifted along with the waves of heat filling her. She could not prolong it by holding back. She stuffed a pillow in her face when the little death took her and her entire body burst into glitter at her climax.
When she regained her senses, Simon laid on his side next to her and caressed her cheek again. ‘Did that feel good?’ he whispered.
She smiled wide and cupped his cheek. ‘Yes. Very good.’
She slipped her hand to his crotch and stroked him gently. He gave her another forehead kiss, and she moved down. closing her mouth around him. The soft moan from him satisfied her, and she attended to him with pleasure.
Simon thought it had never been as good as she did it, and thoroughly enjoyed her attention to him for as long as he could endure it. The physical urge needed to release itself soon though, and he groaned deep as he reached his limit.
Vivianne finished her task and stretched out on the bed a moment later, and Simon caressed her curves again while they looked into each other’s eyes with satisfaction.
She pulled on his waist as she spread her legs when he was ready again, and he moved on top of her. She guided him inside her, and sighed deep in relief as he slid all the way inside her. Their eyes locked in their gaze while he moved slow and deliberately, drawing out the buildup of their carnal desires, while their breathing became heavier. Vivianne held him tight when she came again, which was Simon’s trigger to groan deep at his climax.
They kept the lock on their bodies for a while longer, before he rolled onto his side again, and she moved with her back against him and pulled his arms around her. ‘Thank you.’ she whispered.
He kissed her head. ‘It was my pleasure, really.’
She fell asleep with the warm and happy sensation she had lacked for so long.

#

Vivianne woke up and was glad Simon still lay against her. She wasn’t sure if she expected it, but his presence in the morning made the fulfillment of her need complete. She turned her head to smile at him. ‘Good morning.’ she whispered.
‘Good morning.’ he whispered. ‘Did you sleep well?’
She nodded once. ‘You?’
‘Yes.’ he said and stroked stray hair from her forehead. ‘Feel better now?’
‘Yes. Thank you for doing this.’
‘It felt good to me as well.’ he said and kissed her temple. ‘I’ll wake Tabitha and ready breakfast.’
‘Thank you.’ she said.
He stepped out of bed, took his clothes from the chair, and left the room. She curled up a little to enjoy the lingering sensation of his body against her back for a little longer.

# 08/09 Clash

Vivianne stood in the office supplies store with a stack of notebooks, angry about needing to spend money again on supplies the school should have provided for her, but which supposedly wasn’t in the budget. She needed a set of pens and reached up to grab a package when the top of the stack snagged underneath one of the product rungs and it toppled out of her arm. ‘Dammit!’ she said as she looked down on the scattered pile at her feet.
She began picking them up when a man in grey suit squatted next to her. ‘Let me give you a hand.’
‘I’m fine!’ she snapped, then silently looked at the floor.
He picked up the notebooks. ‘What’s wrong?’
She sighed. ‘Everything! They expect me to deliver a summary on all my students next week for evaluation but they won’t give me the budget for the materials I need, and it’s not the first time I need to buy things from my own pocket when I can’t spend all that much in the first place. Why can’t they plan things thoroughly for once and give us what we ask for to do our job?’
The man handed her her notebooks. ‘I’m sorry to hear you have such a tough time.’
She stood up and looked up at the tall man next to her. He seemed only a little older than her with the few streaks of grey in his business styled black hair. His dark eyes looked not with pity at her, but genuine concern. ‘I’m sorry I lashed out at you and vented about my own problems. Thank you for picking up the notebooks.’
He gave her a friendly smile. ‘No problem.’
‘I’ll be going now.’ she said, took the package of pens she needed, and left to pay for the supplies.
She put them down on the counter and the girl behind it reached out to them, when the same man behind her walked up behind the counter. ‘I’ll take care of this, Lisa.’
‘Okay.’ said the girl, and went to work on sorting the box of supplies behind them.
Vivianne gazed with wide eyes at him, and he grinned ever so slightly at her surprise. ‘I’m Jack, the manager here.’
‘Vivianne.’ she said, unsure on what else to say.
He scanned the notebooks and pens, and used a code for a full discount. She noticed it. ‘Wait, that’s not right.’
‘See it as a one time donation to a hard working teacher.’ he said, put the supplies in a bag, then pulled out a store card from a drawer, entered the number into the computer next to the register, and handed it over to her. ‘Here, this will give you a permanent discount as a business customer, and hopefully less trouble when you need to pay out of your own pocket again.’
She took the card from him and stared at it. ‘I don’t know what to say.’
‘Just keep coming here whenever you need something.’
She chuckled and put the card in her purse. ‘I will for sure now.’
He gave a her a big smile. ‘Looks like you’re feeling a bit better now.’
She had to admit she did. ‘Yes, thank you.’
He handed her the bag with supplies. ‘All right, see you next time.’
She took it. ‘Thank you. Till next time, yes.’ she said, and left the store in a much better mood than when she had entered it.

# 08/09 Pool fun

When Vivianne arrived at home, she felt dirty from how much she had sweat in the car. An accident on the highway caused a slow moving congestion in the full sun, and opening the windows hadn’t cooled her off much when there was barely any wind. The pool at the back looked extra irresistable when she greeted Tabitha playing in it. Simon noticed her look and sniggered. ‘Go ahead, I made something easy for dinner. You and Tabitha can even have a little ice cream beforehand while you cool off in the water.’
She liked that idea a lot and and barely hopped on her feet in anticipation.
He poked her nose. ‘You still have to eat your dinner though, or else I won’t do this again.’
She nodded with a wide grin. ‘Okay, Daddy.’ she said, and went to her bedroom.
She returned to the kitchen in her red bikini, and held onto Simon’s sides as she peeked from behind him at the strawberry and mint ice cream he scooped from the containers. ‘Yummy!’
He chuckled and toched the tip of her nose with the cold back of the spoon.
‘Nawww.’ she said and rubbed her nose. ‘Cold.’
He turned around holding the two bowls and watched her in her twin pigtails in amusement. ‘Into the pool with you, young lady.’
She giggled. ‘Okaaay.’ she said, and went outside.
Simon hadn’t really thought about it since that night, but seeing her in her bikini flashed the image of her naked body in his mind and his heart beat just a little faster. He figured it was nothing but a logical reaction when it had only been a few days since they slept together, and he followed her outside. She slipped into the cool water next to Tabitha with a sigh in satisfaction, and he held out the bowls to the two. ‘Don’t spill.’
He took his seat in the lounge chair next to the pool and put his feet in the water. ‘How was your day, Viv?’
She swallowed the cold and sweet goodness in her mouth, then told him about what happened with some of the students and the mess from the usual teachers, and the final trouble on the highway.
‘No wonder you were so sweaty.’ he said. ‘I thought I had to hose you down when you walked in.’
She gigled. ‘Maybe we should hose you down? Your shirt is soaked.’
‘It so happens that a stove is not exactly helping to stay cool while cooking.’
She kicked water at him. ‘You’re not in the kitchen now.’ she said and playfully stuck her tongue out at him.
‘Hey, no splashing water.’
She nudged Tabitha. ‘I think he’s afraid of water. Let’s test it.’ she said, and splashed water at him with her hands.
Tabitha giggled hard and joined in, and Simon held up his arms. ‘Ah! Behave, you girls.’ he said, and quickly splashed water back at them until they gave up from laughing hard.
He looked down at his soaked shirt and shorts, and laughed. ‘Great, I can’t go inside like this.’
‘Just wring it all out here.’ Vivianne said, amused at his drenched look.
He pulled off his shirt and took off his shorts and wrung them out, and Vivianne realised she had seen him naked, but not that clearly since she had been drinking and the light hadn’t been bright in her bedroom. Although they had been to the lake before, seeing him now almost undressed had become different, now that the memory of the pleasure he had brought her was part of it. She didn’t think another night like that would happen again, but if the need ever became urgent enough, she would surely ask him again. She was glad for the safe option he provided.

# 12/09 Biker man

Vivianne stopped at the gasstation, and filled her car when a very dark red painted and low motorcycle pulled up at the opposite pump with a low rumble from the engine. The rider dressed in all black leather stepped from his bike, and the many romance novels featuring rugged men on bikes she had read had her fantasising about those scenes. When the rider took off his helmet she was pleasantly surprised.
Jack put down his helmet, took the pump handle, and turned to unsrew the cap on the gas tank. ‘Hey, hello there Vivianne.’
She felt flattered that he remembered her name. ‘Hey.’ she said. ‘Nice bike.’
He unscrewed the cap and filled the tank. ‘Thanks. You like them?’
‘It’s just that tough boy image they give off.’
He laughed. ‘No tough boy image for me. It’s just a hobby of mine to take this girl for a spin when the weather allows for it.’
‘Won’t that make your significant other jealous?’ Vivianne asked with a chuckle.
He let out another single laugh. ‘Not really. I’m just an old bachelor pretending to be young.’
Vivianne sniggered. ‘No need to pretend. I think the bike suits you.’
He gave her a nod. ‘Thank you very much.’ he said. ‘By the way, your pump has stopped already.’
She turned to watched the dial and realised she hadn’t noticed the click of the overflow protection. She giggled in embarrassment and returned the handle to its cradle, and went into the shop to pay. Jack held open the door for her when she walked out again. ‘Thank you.’
‘No worry.’ he said. ‘See you around.’
‘See you.’ she said, and went to her car while looking at the motorcycle. It really looked like it belonged in romance tales, and she thought she might just dream about it tonight in her own tale of romance and bad guys.

# 16/09 Scary movie

‘What’s this?’ asked Simon when he saw a DVD box on the coffee table.
Vivianne put the disc in the player. ‘The new animation about a witch girl living in a forest who meets a cursed wolf. want to watch it with us?’
He enjoyed the occasional good animation and he had no immediate plans. ‘Sure.’
They settled back into the couch and Vivianne turned on the television. The story began relatively innocently enough with the witch stumbling across the black wolf, wounded by a hunter which he barely escaped, and she nurses him back to health. But when an evil creature brought darkness to the woods, Tabitha crawled against her mother. Vivianne put on a brave face, but the tension made her nervous as well. She flinched and squealed when the shadow creature suddenly attacked the girl and the wolf.
Simon moved against her and put her arm around her, and Vivianne crawled against him, glad for his presence.
They relaxed a little when the wolf fights off the creature and flees with the girl on his back, and watched with nated breath when the wolf tells the girl he is cursed to posess the power to defeat the shadow creature, but won’t gain it unless he finds the heart to unlock it, and how he has been looking for it for years.
Simon already realised what would happen, and thought it was cute how both Tabitha and Vivianne hung onto every word of the wolf. He stroked stroked Vivianne’s head gently, and she leaned his head against him.
They tensed when the creature took posession of the hunter who had shot the wolf before with his crossbow, and Tabitha crawled onto Simon’s lap and in the safety of his embrace.
The inevitable confrontation came, with the hunter and more shadow creatures attacked the girl and the wolf, but the girl was stronger than it anticipated with her magic. Tabitha and Vivianne cried out when the hunter shot a bolt at the girl.
It did not reach her when the wolf jumped in front of her, and caught the bolt in its chest.
Tears rolled down Tabitha’s and her mother’s cheeks along with the witch girl as she held her dying wolf tight.
The creature released the hunter, who fell down unconsciously, and reared up in victory. The wolf told the girl he’s sorry he couldn’t find the heart to stop the creature and save her, and the girl says she loves him and kisses his muzzle.
Simon held Tabitha and Vivianne tight as they cried, while his chest tightened for their tears and a tear rolled down his cheek in sympathy. The two held their breath as magic of the woods twirled around in strands of fog though, and flowed into the wolf.
The wolf rose up as light surrounded him and with a loud howl at the black sky, burst into moonlight and erased the darkness along with the creature.
They froze again when the wolf collapsed and died.
The witch girl cried into his chest, and Tabitha’s and Vivian’s hearts sank until a lady in white descended from the sky and lays her hands on the wolf’s and the girl’s cheek. She tells the girl she is the moon goddess and can save the wolf if she offers her heart to him. The little witch accepts at once, and with a warm smile, the goddess puts a spell on the both of them.
Both Tabitha and Vivianne stirred and cried happy tears as the wolf came back to life, and he and the girl end up living happily ever after together in the bright woods.
Simon dried Tabitha and Vivianne’s cheeks while they relaxed against him, and gave both of them a soft kiss on their heads. Thinking this was how he had imagined live could be if one of his former girls had chose to stay with him, he felt a pang of jealousy that a jerk like Karl had it all, but ruined it not just for himself, but for Vivianne and Tabitha as well. He told himself he’d try to make up for it while they were living together.
Vivianne crawled into bed after she and Simon had put Tabitha to bed, and pulled one of her stuffed animals against her as she thought back on the evening. She felt both sad about missing so many opportunities with Karl, and happy that she and Tabitha had experienced it now with Simon. Her defensive walls still surrounded her, but maybe she could lower them thanks to him.

# 24/09 Ride offer

Vivianne stopped by the office supplies store again on the way home, and found Jack at the counter at the entrance again. He gave her a cheerful little wave, which she returned before picking up the supplies she needed. When she returned to the register, he came over. ‘How have you been?’
‘Busy as usual.’
‘Stress level?’
She chuckled. ‘It’s a little less now.’
He leaned with his hands on the counter. ‘I’ve been thinking, and I want to take you for a ride on my motorcycle while there’s still plenty of light during the evening.’
She was taken aback by the unexpected proposal.
‘Since you like motorcycles, I thought you might enjoy a short tour to distract you from your daily troubles. Nothing fancy or anything.’
She looked at her supplies, then back at him again. One of the staff called out to him, and he lifted his hand in acknowledgement. ‘Just think it over.’ he said. ‘If you want to get away from it all for an hour or so, let me know.’
A ride on one of those machines had always attracted her, and an hour didn’t seem a long time to take for herself.
When she arrived at home, she chuckled when Simon asked how her day went. ‘I’ve been asked out on a short ride.’
Simon raised an eyebrow. ‘A what?’
She put down her bags. ‘Jack, the manager at the office store, rides one of those low motorcycles for a hobby, and he offered to take me for a short tour to relieve some stress because he knows I like them.’
A bad feeling stirred in the back of Simon’s head. ‘You know him well enough?’
‘Well, when we first met I lashed out at him when I dropped a stack of notebooks in the store, but he calmly helped me pick them up and asked what was wrong. I guess I had to vent about the crap that day, and he listened to me. Since then he always asks me how I’m doing whenever I come to the store.’
The feeling became uncomfortable when Simon began to recognise it. Jealousy was not something he wanted to experience because he didn’t like the association with being in love again and suffer the heartbreak. And he should definitely not fall in love with Vivianne because that would break their agreement to live together without romantic involvement. He would have to view it as general concern about her welfare as a close friend. ‘Okay.’
She waved it off. ‘I’m sure he’ll forget about it in a few days, and I’m too busy anyway.’ she said, and proceeded to prepare for next day’s work.

# 01/10 Kidnapping

Jack saw the thunderstorm on Vivianne’s face when she walked into the store. ‘Not a good day?’
She shook her head. ‘Idiots again.’
‘Okay, that’s it.’ he said, took her bag from her before she realised it and placed it on the counter in front of the cashier. ‘Keep that safe for me, will you?’ He then pushed Vivianne at her back towards the entrance and led her outside to his motorcycle.
She felt overwhelmed and wanted to stop him, but her conditioned response was to let the man do what he wanted to, to get things over with as quickly as possible.
At the bike, Jack opened the saddlebags, took out two helmets, and handed her one. ‘Here.’
‘But.’ she said as she looked at it.
‘No arguing, put it on.’
She did as told and he secured the chinstrap, put on his own helmet, and sat down on the saddle. He pat behind him. ‘Sit and hold onto me.’
She sat down with her heart racing, and held onto him as he started the engine, and relaxedly drove off of the parking lot and onto the road.
Taking the smaller and winding roads, he drove through the countryside just outside the city for half an hour, while Vivianne relaxed enough to take in the landscape rushing by and enjoy the swaying of the motorcycle while it rumbled comfortably under her seat. He parked at a quiet rest area on the top of a low hill where a couple of other riders enjoyed the view.
Vivianne stepped off, and Jack undid the chinstrap. She took off the helmet and took a deep breath of the fresh air while he took off his helmet. ‘So, how do you feel now?’ he asked.
She frowned at him. ‘I should charge you with kidnapping.’
He laughed. ‘I’ll take that as it seems it alleviated some of your stress.’
She had to admit, the surprise did make her forget about all her troubles for a while. Jack put down his helmet and gestured at a bench facing the city. ‘We’ll take a short break, then I’ll drive you back to the store and you can call the police to arrest me.’
She giggled. ‘Maybe I’ll forgive you this one time.’
She enjoyed the view and the wind blowing through her hair, and more of the ride back since she did not have to panic, and felt grateful when they arrived at the store. ‘Thank you.’ she said. ‘Although not what I had in mind, it did make me feel better.’
Jack gave her a nod. ‘I was happy to take you on a ride, and now that you’ve experienced it, you know what to expect if you want to join me for another one.’
‘Yeah.’ she said, thinking she liked it enough she might just take him up on the next offer, and they headed for the entrance so she could do her shopping.
When she returned home, Simon noticed the lift in her mood. ‘How was your day? Looks it was better than usual.’
She kissed Tabitha on the top of her head. ‘I was kidnapped.’ she giggled.
Tabitha gasped. ‘You were kidnapped?’
Simon raised an eyebrow and his puzzled look made her giggle again. ‘I was in a bad mood when I drove away from school, but then when I went to the store for new markers, Jack took me away on a ride on his motorcycle when I told him why my mood was bad.’
‘You rode a motorcycle, mommy? That’s so cool.’
Vivianne stroked Tabitha’s head. ‘Yes, it was.’
Simon could barely believe she would go with another man just like that. ‘Didn’t you worry?’
‘I did at first, but when I realised we were only riding through the countryside around the city, I could relax and enjoy the thrill of the ride.’
Simon had to admit that would have been fun. ‘I’m glad you had fun. It was kind of him to take you on a tour to lift your mood.’
‘It was unexpected, but it was nice, yes.’ she said. ‘Now i need a quick shower to wash off the sweat.’
Simon was happy for her, but in a way he wished he could have cheered her up instead. He scolded himself for his selfishness when Vivianne was not actually his girl and could choose whom to hang out with, and quickly returned to providing cheer with a good dinner.

# 03/10

Simon took a quick look at the calendar in the kitchen late in the evening, and noticed the small drawing of a birthday cake with Tabitha’s name. ‘Her birthday is coming up?’
Vivianne looked up from the last of her grading paperwork, and followed his gaze. ‘Tabitha’s? Yes.’ She sighed a little. ‘Time passes too quickly for some things.’
He laid his hand gently on her shoulder. ‘I can imagine all doting parents feel that way.’
She looked up at him gratefully.
He sat down at the table. ‘So, what do you have in mind for that day?’
Vivianne assumed all this ttime she’d do the same as the years before, but then she realised the situation wasn’t the same this year. Karl was gone now, and she didn’t really expect him to show up for his daughter’s birthday. He’d maybe just sent a card. It would have been just the two of them having a fun day out to any place Tabitha liked to go, but there’s Simon as well. She gazed at him, wondering if he’d want to be part of it and feel bad if she didn’t invite him, or if he had no interest in doing kid’s activities.
‘Are you all right, Viv?’
Her thoughts returned to the present. ‘What?’
He looked a little concerned. ‘You seemed so deep in thought, I thought you might be worried about something.’
She was, and more about how he might react if she told him about it. Her only experiences with sharing her thoughts had been receiving indifference or anger.
‘If there’s something I can help with, tell me. Or if you want to simply spend the day alone with her, there are places I can go to.’
His offer was unexpected and thoughtfully kind, and she didn’t know what to do with it. ‘I haven’t talked with Tabitha about what she wants to do this year yet, so I don’t really have any set plans.’
‘Okay.’ he said. ‘Just let me know when you do.’

# 04/10

The weather was really nice and Simon waited at the school bus stop after a walk to think about his current story. Tabitha gave him a big smile when she stepped off the bus and saw him. He gave her head a stroke. ‘So, how was school today?’
‘It was okay. We began reading a new book.’ she said as they walked home.
‘That’s nice.’ he said and tried to think of a subtle way to ask, but didn’t think there was a way that actually worked for kids, and decided to ask directly. ‘I saw your birthday is coming up. Is there anything special you want as your present?’
She looked up at him for a moment, then back in front of her at the sidewalk. ‘I don’t know.. I usually get new toys or a new dress or something.’
‘There’s nothing in particular that your heart desires?’
She kept silent for a while. ‘I’d like to give mommy a present that would make her really happy every day.’
‘A present for her?’
She looked up at him again. ‘Her birthday is two days later, but we’ve always celebrated together.’
Simon looked at her in surprise. ‘It is? I didn’t see hers on the calendar.’ he said, and felt bad if Vivianne did it because she didn’t like celebrating hers. ‘She doesn’t do anything special on that day?’
Tabitha shook her head and he made a mental note to ask her mother about it later.

#

After Vivianne and Simon had tucked in Tabitha that evening, he breached the subject. ‘I heard from Tabitha your birthday is two days later. Is there something you’d like to do for that?’
Vivianne was both glad he asked about it, but also didn’t want any obligatory celebration. ‘Not really. I just celebrate with Tabitha since it’s less of a hassle for people to do things twice in such a short notice.’
He understood the reason while it still saddened him to see her day relegated to second place. ‘Nothing the rest of the family did that day?’
He recognised her default smile to stop others from worrying about her. ‘They did congratulate me once more, but we already did everything else, so I don’t need anything more.’
The need to do something for her rose inside him, but he’d have to think it through thoroughly. ‘Okay.’ he said, and left her to her work while he began on his own.

# 05/10

When Simon left the house for a short while, Vivianne and Tabitha settled in front of the television to watch a movie. Vivianne pressed play on the remote. ‘Do you already know what you want for your birthday, baby?’
Tabitha snuggled up to her mother. ‘A really big birthday cake.’ she giggled.
Vivianne giggled in amusement. ‘A big one, eh?’
‘Yes. So big we can’t eat anything else for days.’
‘I’d have to see if that’s possible.’ said Vivianne and the two giggled together again. ‘Anything else? Somewhere you want to go?’
Tabitha looked up at her. ‘Can we go to the zoo?’
‘I think we can, yes.’
Tabitha smiled wide. ‘I wonder which animal Simon likes best.’
‘You want Simon to come with us?’
She looked a little unsure. ‘Can’t he come with us?’
Vivianne was glad Tabitha liked Simon enough to want him to come, and a little jealous the birthday would not be just the two of them. ‘Of course he can come if he wants to.’
Tabitha’s smile returned and her attention was drawn to the television, while Vivianne had her answer on whether to ask Simon to come with them or not.

# 09/10 Birthday one

Tabitha woke up and her mood went from sleepy to excited faster than a sportscar going from zero to a hundred kilometres an hour. She jumped out of bed and hurried into the livingroom when she heard her mother there. She gasped at the stuffed brown bear her size with a white bow around its neck , sitting in a chair and holding a big cake with seven lit candles on its short legs.
Vivianne and Simon laughed at her amazed expression. Her mother picked her up and kissed her. ‘Happy birtday, baby. We were just about to wake you up.’
Tabitha threw her arms around Vivianne’s neck and hugged her. ‘Thank you, mommy.’
Vivianne put her in front of the cake, and she blew out the candle with a cheer from her mother and Simon. He cut a big piece of the cake and held it out to her. ‘Happy birthday, honey.’
She hugged him. ‘Thank you.’ she said, and sat down on the couch, quickly stuffing the first bite into her mouth and staring at the bear. ‘Is the bear for me as well?
‘Yes, it is.’ said Vivianne. ‘So you’ll have to name it.’
She thought while eating cake, and looked up again. ‘I’ll just name him Bear.’
Simon chuckled as he gave Vivianne a piece of the cake. ‘Just Bear?’
She nodded. ‘I can’t think of anything better.’
Simon laid his hand on Bear’s head. ‘Then your name is Bear from now on. Make sure you always protect her.’ He winked at Tabitha. ‘But don’t feed her too much cake now. We still have to make a trip to the zoo, and we can’t roll her around because she turned into a big ball from eating.’
Tabitha giggled and cheerfully continued eating her piece.

# 11/10 Birthday two

Vivianne looked into the mirror after she woke up, and sighed. ‘Only one more year until the big four-oh.’ she said to her reflection, trying not to look at the little signs of aging growing in size. She grabbed the heap of selfdoubt in her mind, pushed it aside, and took a deep breath. ‘You are awesome, girl, and if others don’t see it, they simply miss out on a great thing.’ She dressed herself for a new week of work, and walked into the livingroom, devoid of the birthday decorations, and for a moment she imagined there was a flicker of hope there had been some for her occasion. She went into the kitchen, where she heard Tabitha and Simon talking.
‘Mommy!’ called out Tabitha, and jumped into her arms. ‘Happy birthday.’ She kissed and hugged her mother tight.
Simon held up a plate with a freshly baked waffle, with whipped cream and strawberries and a single burning candle on it. ‘Happy birthday, Viv.’ he said, and kissed her cheek.
Vivianne’s chest warmed with the first time someone did something especially for her on her actual birthday since her daughter’s birth. ‘Thank you. Both of you.’ She decided she didn’t need the decorations and attention. Her baby and this little token already made her day.
Simon sat down with his own waffle. ‘You didn’t forget I have a late meeting with the publisher, so you’ll have to be home straight after work?’
Vivianne hummed her confirmation with a mouthful of waffle, and Simon sniggered. She was glad for a good excuse to refuse any last minute meetings or overtime at work on this day. She just wanted to spend the evening slumped on the couch, watching television and eating ice cream. She figured Simon couldn’t deny her an extra portion of it today, and giggled inwards at how he could act as a Daddy at times. It was something she couldn’t deny liking it, and playfully wondered how far she could go with her little side with him.

#

Vivianne was glad as always to arrive home, and her mind was already set on Tabitha, couch, cartoons, and plenty of ice cream. She stepped into the door, and realised there was no light coming from the doorway into the livingroom. Panic gripped her that Tabitha hadn’t come home, and she hurried into the livingroom. ‘Tabitha?’ She wondered why the curtains were drawn when it wasn’t that dark outside yet. The suddenly lit christmas lights hung through the room startled her.
‘Surprise!’ said Tabitha and Simon from their hiding place in the corner.
Her heart raced in confusion as she looked at the blinking lights hung on the wall above the couch with a row of snowmen on the backrest, a couple of pumpkin lanterns with hearts carved in them in one corner, a big white plush bunny holding a basket full of coloured eggs in another, and a collage of flowers and plants in a third corner. ‘What’s this?’
Tabitha hugged her in her mother’s arms. ‘The birthday party for you, mommy.’
She looked at Simon, who gave her a mischievous smile. ‘We decided to just make it weird.’
She laughed and kissed Tabitha. ‘You two are silly.’
‘Takes on to know one.’ said Simon. ‘Now, go freshen up, We have to go.’
‘Where?’
Simon took Tabitha from her arms. ‘You’ll see.’ he said, and gestured with his head. ‘Go. We need to change as well.’
Confused, vivianne went to her bedroom, and gazed at the black dress laid out her bed, with note reading “wear me” on top. A burst of giggles escaped her, and she hurried to shed the day of work from her and slide into the dress she hadn’t worn for a few years.
She checked her looks in the mirror and was glad the dress still fit her well. She had bought it because she knew the fabric would stretch a little along with what she called her personal growth. The note on placed against her make up collection made her giggle again. It stated “don’t wear too much of me, you are already as beautiful as you are”.
The sight of Tabitha in her best white dress with a white bow clipped at the back of her hair, and Simon in a black suit with white dress shirt and white shoes left her speechless. He stepped towards her and held out his arm. ‘If you care to follow me to the car, milady.’
Her heart beat fast as she took his arm, and Tabitha opened the front door for them as they stepped outside, and cloed it behind them again. Simon opened the passanger door for Vivianne and helped her inside, and did the same for Tabitha before stepping inside and driving away.
Vivianne was dying inside to know where they were going when she didn’t recognise the way to any restaurant she knew, but this time she let herself be led by the man at her side willingly.
Simon eventually stopped at a place at the edge of the city, where a Mediteranian restaurant was located surrounded by lush greenery. Simon escorted Vivianne and Tabitha to the rear, and the covered garden heated by fire stands, where other guests were enjoying their dinner. The waiter showed them their table, and Vivanne had to restrain herself from gazing around while Simon held her chair out for her.
After the waiter left with the order for drinks, she leaned closer. ‘This is such a surprise. When did you arrange all this?’
‘That’s our little secret.’ Simon said, and gave Tabitha a conspiratory wink.
Simon left the choice of dinner up to the chef, and was amused and happy to see both Vivianne and Tabitha enjoy the various courses served to them, with some special ones to suit Tabitha’s taste.
After dinner and coffee, they walked leisurely to the car, with Vivianne holding onto Simon by his arm. ‘This was a great dinner, thank you.’
‘You’re welcome. I heard about the place from someone who had been here and said they also catered to children despite looking like they’d only have upper class food.’ Simon said and looked at Tabitha, holding his hand. ‘And I think this young lady enjoyed it as well.’
Tabitha nodded and hummed her agreement.
Vivianne expected him to drive them home, but he drove to the lake instead, and pulled out a picnic basket and blankets from the back of the car. In the middle of the field, he laid down one large blanket, helped Vivianne and Tabitha sit down, draped blankets around their shoulders to keep them warm, and served wine and grape juice. The sky was mostly clear and the moon was nearly full, and Vivianne enjoyed the glitter of the stars and the shimmer on the water ripples of the lake, while they relaxed surrounded by the quiet of nighttime nature.
‘This was a wonderful day.’ said Vivianne softly.
Simon smiled dreamily at the sky filled with diamonds. ‘You deserve wondeful days, Viv.’
She leaned against his shoulder, grateful for his words and what he did for her, and they sat until they figured it was time to put the sleeping Tabitha in her bed.
‘Simon?’ asked Vivianne after they had done so at home.
He turned to face her. ‘Yes?’
She hugged him and lay her head against his shoulder. ‘Thank you.’ she whispered.
He wrapped his arms around her and kissed the top of her head. ‘Go sleep and have sweet dreams. We’ll leave the decorations up one more evening for your enjoyment.’
She giggled, kissed his cheek, and left for her room, and Simon let his eyes wander around the decorated living room, glad to know the evening was a success.
Vivianne slipped under the covers and pulled her stuffed wolf plush close. She loved the evening she had, and supressed the notion that it was just this one time to not let her automated reactions ruin it as she closed her eyes to sleep.

# 15/10 Next tour

The ride on the motorcycle kept going through her mind, so it wasn’t difficult to agree when Jack proposed a few weeks later to ride around the lake and see the early autumn colours, and a couple of other tours followed.
After the latest one, she scrolled through the photos on her phone as she showed them to Simon. He smiled at one of her laughing and holding up a discarded garden gnome in the middle of nowhere. Seeing her so happy was good, but he wished it was not because of another man. ‘I’m glad to see you found someone to have so much fun with.’
She nodded as she looked at herself. ‘Yeah.’ she said, and thought it was fun. She realised Jack had more interest in her but held back, but she didn’t feel that way for him though. Not the way she did for Simon, but he didn’t have that kind of interest in her. That was not how their current arrangement worked. She put her feelings aside like the way she scrolled to the next photo.
Simon looked at Jack sitting on a large rock and looking at the horizon. ‘He seems like a good guy.’
She nodded. ‘He is.’
Simon stretched. ‘Well, with a good job like he has, if he’s good with kids he could be a good match for you.’
Vivianne realised the possibility. ‘Maybe.’ she said as she thought he might indeed be a good choice to live out the rest of her life with. It looked like she would be happier with Jack than she would have been with Karl, and there weren’t much chances for her to meet a good man.
Simon stood up. ‘Okay, I’m off to bed. Early day tomorrow.’
She looked up at him. ‘Okay, sweet dreams.’
‘You too, Viv.’ he said, and left for his room.
He sat dowm heavy on his bed and took a deep breath to try to settle the slight twist in his stomach. ‘Fuck.’ he muttered as he thought about how happy she looked with Jack and would have liked for her to feel that for him instead. He undressed and slipped under the covers, hoping to fall asleep soon.

# 20/10 Toys everywhere

‘I think I’ll head over to the bookshop for a bit.’ said Simon during dinner. ‘I feel like browsing and picking up new book or dozen if I can find something. Want to tag along or would you like me to pick something up?’
Vivianne pondered for a moment, but she liked the idea of browsing herself best, and it had been months since she last set foot in there. She looked at Tabitha. ‘Want to come along?’
Tabitha had been introduced to bookstores since her birth whenever Vivianne could spare some time there, and she liked the relaxed character of those places, and she liked to discover new books with plenty of illustrations. ‘Yes.’
Vivianne turned to Simon. ‘We’ll tag along, if you don’t mind.’
‘It’ll be my pleasure.’ he said, and they finished the dishes quickly after dinner.
At the shop, he always took a long whiff of the scent of new and old books in the virtual maze of bookcases spread out over several floors. ‘Text me when you want to leave and can’t find me. I might have ended up in some obscure genre corner.’
Vivianne chuckled. ‘Same here, and good luck.’ she said, and went first with Tabitha to the children’s section, where there was a large selection of books children could read while parents roamed around the shop. Tabitha liked it there well enough as long as she checked up on her often enough.

After they left the shop with a few kilos of reading material, they noticed a new toystore nearby. The same kind of twinkling appeared in both Tabitha’s and Vivianne’s eyes, to the amusement of Simon. ‘Want to take a look after we put our books in the car?’
‘Yes.’ they both said, and Simon felt like he brought two daughters to the store when they gazed at the spacious entrance and the rows of shelves to the rear of the store. ‘All right, girls, have a look around, but don’t disturb the other people.’
‘Will do, Daddy.’ said Vivianne playfully, and walked with Tabitha to the toy animals section first.
Simon watched them browse and rub their cheeks against the really fluffy animals, and couldn’t find the words to describe how cute they were. He told himself to think long and hard about it some time and write it down.
When the two had roamed the store, they lingered around the stuffed toys for a little more. Vivianne stroked Tabitha’s head while they looked with some longing at a collection of forest friends from a new cartoon series which they really liked. ‘We already spent our budget on new things for this month, baby, so we’ll have to wait until next month to buy one.’ She stroked a fluffy fox while Tabitha returned a white bunny to it’s place on the shelf.
Tabitha looked up at her mother. ‘Okay.’ she said softly. ‘I’ll be a good girl and be patient.’
Vivianne stroked her head once more. ‘So will I, baby.’
At the car, Simon pat his pockets. ‘Damned.’
Vivanne looked back at him as she was about to step into the car. ‘What’s wrong?’
He gestured back at the store. ‘I made some notes in my pocket notebook, but I must have put it down when I helped a lady take a big box from a shelf, and then forgot it when I went to you. I’ll be right back.’
Vivianne chuckled and stepped into the car, and Tabitha looked ay Simon walking to the store. ‘Where’s Simon going?’
‘He forgot his notebook. He’ll be back soon.’
He returned not long after and opened the back of the car. ‘I’m just going to put it with the books before I misplace it again.’ he said as he rummaged in his bags.
Back home, Vivianne and Tabitha sat down with their new books while Simon made some drinks and put some laundry in the hamper. They compared books and pointed out which ones they wanted to read from the other, until it was time to put Tabitha to bed.
She dressed in her night shirt by herself because she decided she was old enough to do it by herself, and crawled under the covers. She stopped when she felt something soft at her feet. It wasn’t one of her plush animals because they were all on top of the covers. ‘There’s something in my bed.’ she said and reached out underneath the covers.
‘What is it?’ asked Vivianne, and was just as surprised as her daughter to see her pull out the same white bunny they left behind at the store.
Tabitha looked at her mother. ‘It’s the bunny, mommy!’
Vivianne looked at Simon, who shrugged. ‘Don’t look at me. Bunnies show up in the darndest places.’
Vivianne sniggered and smiled at Tabitha. ‘Looks like this one followed you home.’
Tabitha looked at it. ‘But what if they miss it and think I stole it?’
Simon stroked her head. ‘Don’t worry about that, honey. We know you’re a good girl, and I’ll tell them this bunny wanted to be with you.’ He kissed her forehead. ‘Now sleep, and dream of adventures with your new friend.’
She smiled again and crawled under the covers with the bunny in her arms, and Vivianne kissed her good night.
She poked Simon’s back playfully when the closed the bedroom door behind them. ‘So, a case of bunnies on the loose, eh?’
Simon raised his hands in innocense. ‘I know nothing. I was here all the time, remember?’
‘Right.’ said Vivianne, then kissed his cheek. ‘Then this is for being here.’
Simon sniggered and gathered his books. ‘I’m off to sleep and be elsewhere now though. Sleep tight.’
‘You too.’ she said, put away her books, and went to bed.
She slid under her covers when she felt something soft at her feet, and noticed the bump at the end of the bed. She reached out with a suspicion about what she’d find, and giggled hard as she hugged her new fox plush. ‘All these animals on the loose.’ she whispered while butterflies stirred in her stomach.

# 25/10

# 30/10 Decision

Vivianne picked up her phone when it beeped, and read the text from Jack. ‘Oh, there’s a day trip planned with friends and Jack asked if I want to come along.’
Simon’s stomach twisted but he tried to keep his eye on the steak in the fryingpan. ‘Sounds nice.’
‘But it’s a whole day.’
‘Surely you can arrange enough free time for a day.’
‘But what about Tabitha?’
Simon flipped the steak. ‘What about her? We’ll just have our own fun going somewhere. I believe she wanted to see that new animated movie with prehistoric animals. We’ll go see that, have lunch at a fun place, maybe a short shopping spree. There’s a lot of things we can do.’
‘You think I should go?’
‘How often can you do something fun without worrying about anything? Use the opportunity.’
She nodded. ‘Okay.’ she said knowing he had a point, and sent a reply.
After dinner, Tabitha and Vivianne began drawing and colouring at the kitchen table, while Simon opened up his manuscript again. He read the last few lines, but his mind wasn’t into it. It hadn’t been much lately when he kept thinking about Vivianne and Jack. When his stomach twisted harder again, he made his decision. He could not stay knowing her heart drifted to another man. He opened the website listing places to rent and entered his query. He was glad both Vivianne and he had some lucky breaks and their income was higher, so it made it easier to find a new place for him without breaking their banks. He scrolled through the search results when Tabitha stood up with her drawing and rounded the table towards him.
She gazed at the screen for a few moments before she knew what it was. ‘Are we moving to a new home?’
Both Vivianne and Simon looked at her. ‘What do you mean?’ her mother asked.
‘The houses Simon’s looking at.’
Vivianne looked puzzled at Simon while he stroked Tabitha’s head. ‘No, honey. I’m only browsing around for a bit.’ He pointed at the drawing in her hand. ‘Did you want to show me this?’
She held up the drawing of a bird with four wings and a very long tail.
‘Is that a new fantasy animal?’
‘Yes.’
He gave her a forehead kiss. ‘Very good.’
She beamed and returned to her seat, picking a blank piece of paper and a new pen. Vivianne opened her eyes wide and raised her eyebrows in a silent question. He gestured with his head to the living room, and they moved over there.
‘You’re looking at houses?’
He took a deep breath, knowing he had to tell her at one point. ‘Yes, I think it’s better to begin looking for a new place for myself.’
Vivianne held her breath for a moment when her chest tightened. ‘You want to leave?’
‘Well, I think it would be better now that you have a good prospect for a secure future for yourself and Tabitha.’
She understood what he meant. She had pondered the option often enough, but didn’t want to have to take it. Not yet anyway. ‘I don’t hink it will come to that so soon.’
‘I know, but I like to be prepared and have an early look around.’
She nodded. He was right to think that way. ‘Yeah.’
‘Don’t worry, we can both afford more than we did when we took up this arrangement, and you don’t have to worry about Karl any longer.’ His phone rang in the kitchen. ‘Oh, that’s the publisher. I have to take it.’
Vivianne stared out the window. She wanted to tell him to stay, but didn’t know how or thought she had any right to because it was his life.

# 31/10 Reversal

Vivianne woke up feeling groggy like she hadn’t felt in months. She spent a lot of time awake during the night thinking what to do when Simon was gone. She hyped herself up to appear normal after a cool shower, and kissed Tabitha good morning at the kitchen table. ‘Did you sleep well, baby?’
‘I did. Did you?’
‘Like a log.’
She nearly inhaled her coffee, and kissed Tabitha again when it was time for her to go. ‘I hope you have a fun day at school.’
‘I will, mommy.’
Simon have her her lunchbox. ‘I put in two candybars for morning and afternoon break.’ he said softly.
Seeing he didn’t easily give her so much candy surprised her. ‘Thank you, but why this?’
He gazed into her eyes and touched her temple. ‘You didn’t really sleep all that well, did you?’
Him seeing through her that easily surprised her again. ‘I’m okay.’
‘If you feel ill today, tell me. I’ll fix you something to sleep. For now eat those bars for extra energy, all right?’
The familiar voice in the back of her head asked the usual question of why someone would be nice to her. It asked especially why when that person would leave her. ‘I will.’ she said. ‘Thank you.’
She stepped into her car, started the engine, and gripped the wheel as she bit back the urge to cry at returning to the life she led before she met him. She took a few deep breaths, and drove away with her mind focussed on the work day ahead of her.

#

Simon checked up on her as soon as she returned home. He touched her forehead and looked into her eyes. ‘How’re you feeling, Viv? Did you have any trouble today?’
Her heart was glad for his concern while her mind questioned his sincerity again. ‘Just very tired. I’m okay otherwise.’
He took a step back. ‘All right. Take a nap now. I’ll wake you later for dinner.’
‘It’s all right. I can stay awake.’
He turned her around and pushed her gently towards her bedroom. ‘No, nap now. You need your rest before you fall asleep too early and stay awake during the night again.’
She knew he was right, and allowed him to take her to her bedroom, and laid down after undressing. ‘Don’t be nice to me when it doesn’t matter later.’ she whispered, and a tear rolled down her cheek while she fell asleep.

# /11

# 21/12 Definite goodbye

Simon arrived home and found Vivianne and Tabitha in the kitchen. ‘Simon!’ said Tabitha, and he kissed the top of her head. Vivianne looked back from the stove. ‘Was it any good?’
He sat down at the table. ‘Yes.’
‘So you signed the lease?’
‘I did.’
Vivianne chest tightened. there was no turning back now. ‘I’m glad it’s a good place.’
‘I’m sure you’d like it.’
She thought any place with him would be to her liking.
‘What place?’ asked Tabitha.
Vivianne expected Tabith would not like the news. ‘Time to tell her.’
Simon turned to Tabitha with a heavy heart. ‘There’s going to be a change around here, honey.’
Tabitha didn’t like the sound of it and the worried expressions on his and her mother’s face. ‘Is it something bad?’
‘Depends on how you look at it.’ said Simon, and took a deep breath. ‘Like I did before I came to live here, I am going to live at a place of my own again.’
Her eyes grew large. ‘You’re leaving?’
He nodded listlessly. ‘The agreement between your mother and I was that we would take care of each other and save up on money until one of us was ready to begina new life again.’
‘But I want you to take care of mommy and me.’
Simon glanced quickly at Vivianne, who pressed her lips together and let Simon do the explanation. ‘I know, honey, but there will be someone else who can take much better care of you.’
Taers welled up in her eyes. ‘I don’t want someone else! I want you to stay!’
Vivianne moved next to her and put her hand on her shoulder. ‘That is not possible, baby.’
She looked up at her. ‘Tell him to stay, mommy.’
Vivianne’s chest tightened even more as she wished she could. ‘It’s Simon’s life and for him to decide what to do.’
Tabitha stood up at once, clenching her fists. ‘I hate it! I hate it!’ she shouted, and ran from the kitchen.
Vivianne felt like crying at the hurt of her daughter, and sat down. Simon sighed deep. ‘I’m sorry, Viv. I promised never to hurt her, yet I did.’
She thought it was just as much her own fault. ‘I suppose it was inevitable from the beginning. She already liked you a lot back then, but I didn’t think of the consequences of that.’
He leaned back in his seat. ‘Neither did I, so it’s no blame on your part. I’ll try to talk to her.’
‘Let’s leave her alone for now.’ said Vivianne. ‘She’ll calm down in a bit.’
Vivianne had just finished making dinner and put it aside because neither she or Simon had an appetite, when Tabitha came shuffling into the doorway, pulling at the front of her t-shirt and looking down athe floor. ‘I’m sorry, mommy. I’m sorry, Simon. I’ll be a good girl, so please stay.’
Simon’s heart broke and he picked her up in his embrace quickly. ‘You are a good girl, honey. I’m not leaving because you’re a bad girl. It’s something grownups have to do. And you can always come visit.’
She held on tight to his neck and pressed her face on his shoulder. ‘I don’t like this grownup stuff.’
‘We don’t always like it either, but it is part of life.’
‘I don’t want to grow up.’
He chuckled and stroked the back of her head. ‘I wish you wouldn’t have to either, but then you can’t eat ice cream whenever you want to.’
She looked at him. ‘And candy?’
‘And candy. And cookies.’
She looked disappointed. ‘Maybe I will grow up then.’
He poked the tip of her nose. ‘You still have time to decide, honey. How about some ice cream after dinner?’
She nodded slowly. ‘Okay.’
He looked back at Vivianne. ‘I’ll set the table.’

# 01/01 Good riddance

‘Well, I’m glad we don’t have to worry about you any longer when he’s finally gone.’
Vivianne suppressed snapping at her mother about why they worried about a great guy like Simon, but never said anything about Karl. She took a drink of water from her glass and clenched her teeth.
‘You can invite Jack over now without him being in the way.’ Elizabeth said and folded her napkin. ‘Speaking of which, when will you bring Jack along? We’d like to meet him after you talked so much about him.’
Vivianne groaned inward again. “I only mentioned him a couple of times while I spoke about Simon a lot more but you just won’t listen when it comes to him.” she thought, but there was no use in saying it out loud. The fact that it wouldn’t matter soon saddened her.
Elizabeth put her hand on her daughter’s when she noticed her expression. ‘Don’t worry, I’m sure Jack would understand why you lived with that Simon for a while.’
The tension snapped in Vivianne’s head and she drank the last of her water. ‘We have to go now. I still have work I need to do for tomorrow.’
She gathered Tabitha’s things quickly, kissed her mother goodbye at the door, and walked to her car.
Her mother waved at her. ‘Don’t forget, we expect to see Jack soon.’
Vivianne strapped in Tabitha. ‘Why don’t you go to the store then?’ she muttered, and waved once before she stepped into the car and drove off.

# 07/01 Beginning again

Vivianne and Simon entered the livingroom and sat down in silence on the couch, looking at nothing for a while as they were lost in their own thoughts. ‘I made a salad for Tabitha’s lunch and put it in the fridge.’
‘Okay.’
‘I also bought extra packs of vanilla wafers as a treat for lunch, but don’t give her more than one.’
Something snapped in Vivianne when he told her something she knew perfectly well. ‘Of course.’
‘I’ve washed her bunny sweater and hung it out to dry so she can wear it at her friend’s party friday. It’ll be cold so have her wear that.’
‘I know how to take care of her.’
‘I know. I’m just saying. It’ll be cold so I prepared it for her to stay warm.’
‘I know what she needs. I’ve raised her for almost eight years and you’re gone tomorrow, so you don’t have to care for her any longer.’
‘Leaving doesn’t mean I stop caring. I love her as well.’
‘Love her so much that you have to go so you can leave her care to someone else she doesn’t even know?’
Those words stung him hard. ‘I don’t leave her because I don’t love her all that much, I need to leave because I love you and I can’t handle seeing you in love with another man!’
Vivianne’s jaw dropped while her heart raced. The question came barely out of her mouth. ‘What did you say?’
He threw up his hands. ‘I love you. There, it’s out now. I don’t want to stand in the way when you’re interested in another man.’
She blinked her eyes. ‘Wait, you mean Jack?’
‘Yes. Jack.’
All the puzzle pieces fell into place for her, and her heart pounded at what it meant to her. ‘I don’t love Jack.’
Simon looked back at her is surprise. ‘You don’t?’
She looked up at him and smiled softly at him. ‘I love you.’
Now Simon’s jaw dropped and his knees almost buckled. He couldn’t believe she really meant what she said. ‘What?’
‘I was afraid you’d begin to dislike me if I said anything while you didn’t want to love someone again.’
He turned around with his hands in his hair. ‘I hadn’t expected to fall in love. Especially with you.’
She stood up and moved in front of him, held on to the front of his shirt, and kissed him. ‘Neither did I expect to be in love with you.’
He wrapped his arms around her and kissed her.
They broke off their kiss at noise coming from the hallway, and watched a giggling Tabitha. Vivianne chuckled. ‘What are you doing up?’
‘I was scared when I heard shouting and thought you were fighting. I like it better when you kiss.’
Simon laughed and went over to pick her up. ‘Yes, I like that better as well.’ He kissed her forehead. ‘I’m sorry we scared you, honey.’
Vivianne hugged the both of them and kissed Tabitha. ‘Yes, we’re both very sorry, baby.’
Tabitha smiled. ‘Does that mean we can go with Simon?’
Vivianne looked at him, and he shrugged. ‘It is a better place than this one.’
Tabitha threw up her arms. ‘Yay! We’re moving and Simon will be my new daddy!’
Vivianne and Simon snorted at the same time and gazed at each other. Simon shrugged again. ‘Might as well complete the picture, if you’re willing to try married live one more time.’
Vivianne beamed. ‘Yes, please, Daddy.’